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Dorothy and Toto Go to Washington… to  see the Wizard of Oz, a bedtime fantasy for political operatives.

Once upon a time, there was a Great City called Oz… and a Wizard of great renown lived in that city, promising abundance and safety from the people’s nemesis, the wicked witch of the West. All things were glorious and the city rested securely on the promises of the Wizard and his band of drummers… selling the lies and deceit of the Wizard… they soon ran afoul of the Wicked Witch of the West and her circus of flying monkeys.

It was in the year of our lord 2020… and calamity raged in all the land when a citizen of Kansas named Dorothy and her dog Toto suddenly found themselves the targets of the growing strife and the wizardry of a new dimension. A dimension of folly and fantasy, of judgment to come. Poor Dorothy became the victim of uncontrollable evil, uninvited calamity overtook her life and with a great wind… she awoke one day in the land of Oz, far, far, from her ancestral home… wondering where she was and what went wrong.  Questioning, how this could happen to her and Toto.

It was a very strange land… this land of Oz. Tinmen with no courage lived there, Lions spoke with a roar but no one listened, scare-crows filled the fields but the crows only laughed.  Dorothy was lost and needed help to find her way home… Thus entered the Lolly poops, agents of the Great Wizard of Oz, peddling their lies and deceit they sent Dorothy on a mission to find the City of Oz… promising her safe return home, if she simply followed the Yellow Brick Road. Little did Dorothy know how dangerous the journey would be, or of the calamity that awaited along the road of promise.

After many detours and trials… suffering depravity and in despair, Dorothy finally arrives at the Great City of Oz and obtains an audience with the Great Wizard of that renowned city… only to be deceived and disappointed again, as the Wizard pontificates from behind a curtain; promising to INVESTIGATE her circumstance, and that once he had all the facts… he would be able to return Dorothy and Toto to their ancestral home in Kansas.  But first, she needs to do something for the Wizard… she needs to slay that proverbial nemesis, the mythical dragon, alone… Dorothy must risk her life and those of her newfound friends, to save the Wizard’s bacon. She must stand between the Great and Powerful Wizard and the Wicked Witch of the West, and her circus of flying monkeys.

 Yes, the great and powerful Wizard promised to send Dorothy and Toto home… to make them whole again. However, Dorothy must first secure his kingdom, from the Wicked Witch of the West… So, we find Dorothy dispatched on a fool’s mission, to take on a world in chaos and strife…too, risk her life to secure that of the Great Wizard of Oz and his kingdom. Thus, it is among despots and the wicked, who would consume the lives of others, too ensure their own success.

After a long and arduous campaign and much suffering, Dorothy finally finds and destroys the Wicked Witch of the West’s… and her flying circus of monkeys.  She then returns to the Great Wizard only to watch in dismay at being betrayed… as the Great Wizard abandons the City of Oz, to the Wicked Witch of the West’s sister and her circus of flying monkeys. When Dorthy called to the Great Wizard of Oz, he was nowhere to be found. The Wizard had skipped town… for a better, safer, and more secure place. The Wizard had loaded up his hot-air balloon and abandoned that great city to the Witch’s sister and her crew of flying monkeys.

Thank God, Dorthy had redeemed her Ruby Shoes from the local pawnbroker, and with two clicks of her heels… the nightmare was over. Dorothy and Toto were back in Kansas, safe from the wicked Witch and her sister, no longer under the phony spell of the Wizard and his band of Lolly Poops. Toto has a new bone to pick, and her Uncle Sam has a new house, a grand place, no longer threatened by the Wicked Witch or a victim of false hope. No more the target of cheap goods and services, peddled by the local drummer and his cronies. Dorothy has a new life, a new dress, and new friends… Her house is swept clean of the old and furnished with the new. And best of all, she can get her nails and hair done without being arrested.

I wish I could report that everyone lived happily ever after… but Dorothy’s physician warned her, that her nightmares would be reoccurring… if she failed to follow his orders, to drink her milk, take two aspirins at night and sleep with one eye open.  So it is in Oz today… as the citizen’s reel from the Great All Powerful Wizard of Oz… Knowing, next time it may not work out so well.

BY RA Nelson

Any resemblance to reality is strictly intentional... Names and places have been changed to protect our sanity.  An exercise in parody, or is it?  Posted earlier but reproduced here as we all need a little levity to properly frame our present situation... My wife says she is looking in her shoe collection as we post... for those Red Ruby pumps...