Ahoy, you skeevy traitors. How do you think your endgame goes? You turncoat weasels already have plenty to worry about. You know you’re just one Zoom away from Toobinnig yourselves all over Twitter but you really ought to worry about November 4th. For some reason, you think good times are dead ahead, like the figurative iceberg you rammed your garbage magazines and blogs into. That’s wrong. There is no good outcome for Team Treachery. Everyone hates you.
SPOILER: It’s because you suck.
Now, you're always talking about how you’ll be at the vanguard of the insiders who will rebuild the Republican Party after its four-year flirtation with effectiveness and actually conserving stuff. The clinical term for this kind of fantasy is “delusional.” Name someone awaiting the return of the people who got us into Iraq, put up McCain and Romney as willing sacrificial lambs, and who went full Dick Morris toe-slurping on the left the second they realized conservatism had left them behind? Maybe its one of those doughy geebos you find for your insufferable Lincoln Project vids about how “I was a Republican until Trump started actually doing conservative stuff and I couldn’t handle it”? With Trump grabbing about 95 percent of Republican votes, actual Republican Never Trumpers are as rare as Bulwark staffers who can do a push-up.
There’s no coming back from this. Kasich, your daddy doesn’t ring twice. You’re out. Kristol, your cruises will be ghost ships. French, kiss off. And the rest of you, don’t go away mad, just go away broken and humiliated by your utter failure and total rejection.
Now, the Colonel Klinks of Conservatism – practically the only kind of colonel among these puny cheerleaders of every ridiculous military adventure they bumbled us into in the last couple decades – may imagine that when voters give them Trump again, they can wring a few more bucks out of their Silicon Valley suckers. The only thing they are good at is the grift, and the grifting is good – right now.
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