Win For Pets! In Virginia, dogs can now vote, but will they vote Democrat?
Get this! In a development that has left even the most seasoned election watchers scratching their heads, the Commonwealth of Virginia has effectively extended voting rights restoration to at least one deceased family pet. Biscuit Rigsby, a beagle-hound mix from Goochland County who died about five years ago, recently received an official certificate from the office of Democrat Governor Abigail Spanberger restoring her rights to vote, serve on a jury, and hold public office.
This is no joke!
The letter, addressed to “Biscuit Rigsby” and bearing the governor’s signature, informed the recipient that high-level government executives had reviewed the particulars of her criminal case and determined her political disabilities should be removed.
Biscuit’s owner, who confirmed the document’s authenticity, offered a more straightforward assessment: to his knowledge, the dog was never convicted of a felony and had never shown any interest in voting. He noted she was simply a good dog who is greatly missed.
The lurking question is: Will Biscuit keep voting from the grave?
The episode follows closely on the heels of the “Betty No Last Name” controversy, in which another restoration certificate was issued to an individual identified only by a first name. With a ballot measure on the horizon that would make voting-rights restoration automatic upon release from incarceration—a measure backed by Richmond Democrats—Republican Del. Tom Garrett has demanded an independent audit of the process. He has asked how a deceased animal cleared high-level review the administration claims to conduct.
We didn’t know! Spanberger’s office has denied restoring rights to a dog, stating that the name is associated with a person who has a date of birth and Social Security number. In other words, there is someone out there with the name of Biscuit! OMG!
Officials have not clarified how the certificate ended up in a pet owner's hands, nor have they detailed the safeguards used when the administration announced it had restored rights to tens of thousands of Virginians, but didn't know how many were dogs, cats, fish, and lizards!
The incident raises a practical question that is hard to avoid. If the state’s restoration machinery can generate an official document for a dog that has been dead for half a decade, how many other names have slipped through? Tens of thousands?
In a 'Dog Eat Dog World', the political leanings of any newly eligible canine voters remain unknown.
Dogs are famously motivated by:
- milk-bone treats
- belly rubs
- promise of a walk
- And howling at the moon are important factors, as illegal incentives that translate into reliable support for one party or another have never been systematically studied.
Cats, for their part, have historically declined to participate in almost any organized human activity, especially voting, but that could change if they are high on catnip! (Legal in Virginia)
As Virginians prepare to decide whether the restoration process should become automatic, the case of Biscuit Rigsby offers a concrete illustration of how little scrutiny may currently be applied. An official document claims top executives reviewed a criminal case that, according to the only person who knew the subject, never existed.
Make no mistake, the certificate is real!
Good news! For the moment, at least one dead dog in Virginia has had her voting privileges formally restored. Whether she—or any additional household pets who might follow—will cast a ballot for Democrats is a question the state’s election system is not yet equipped to answer.
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Question for the proud members of the Patriot Command Center: Has this election gone to the dogs?
Please give the rest of us your opinion in the comment section below!
Replies
What more proof do you need that elections are rigged? Why do people not research this widespread voter fraud? How gullible are they?