Shocking! In a stunning display of both mobility and confusion, former President Joe Biden reportedly tunneled out of the Whispering Oaks Managed Care Facility using nothing but a Jell-O spoon and wondered off to even greater accomplishments.
He then made an unscheduled appearance at the National Conference for Advocates, Counselors and Representatives for the Disabled, or as Biden allegedly called it, “the brave folks doing loud whispering.”
Eyewitnesses report Biden entered the building wearing hospital slippers, aviator sunglasses, and a cape made from an old Delaware state flag. After knocking over a podium and yelling “WHERE’S THE SOUP LINE?”, he launched into a passionate, if perplexing, speech.
“I remember, back in fourth grade, or was it the fourth dimension, I saw the colored kids on a bus,” Biden declared, eyes wide. “It was like seeing jazz music come to life, folks. That’s when I knew racism was about race. Also that I liked buses.”
Confused applause followed, possibly from attendees unsure if this was performance art, a protest, or just another episode of “Where’s Joe?”
Things took an even stranger turn when Biden pivoted to denounce “the DOGE team,” a mysterious cabal he insists is made up of Elon Musk, a rogue AI named Clippy, and “that punk from the Sonic commercials.”
“They wanna move fast and break things,” he shouted while pointing at a ceiling tile. “Well guess what, Jack? I break things too! Like Medicare paperwork and the space-time continuum!”
Aides tried to intervene, but Biden had already declared war on social media algorithms, structural inequality, and possibly squirrels (“They’re stealing Wi-Fi,” he warned.)
“It's about dignity!” Biden screamed at one point, startling a service dog into hiding under a table. “Simple dignity! Even if you're Elon, or you're a bus, or you're just one of the colored kids riding through Scranton on a Tuesday with a peanut butter sandwich and a dream!”
No one knew what that meant, but a few people cried anyway.
Following the speech, Biden reportedly returned to his escape tunnel but got distracted by a vending machine and has not been seen since. Secret Service is asking citizens to report any sightings of a man angrily whispering policy positions to lampposts and demanding someone “bring Corn Pop to justice.”
Meanwhile, in Other News… Elon Musk responded to the speech with a single tweet:
“😂🔥 $DOGE to the moon 🐕🚀 #FreeJoe”
Biden’s team has declined to comment, but a representative did say, “It was Tuesday. He usually does this on Thursdays.”
Replies
Sick puppy
IF this was a double, then the whole DEMCRAT Party is a Double for SATAN
DEMCRAT Party is a Double for SATAN
I've known Joe since I was approximately eighteen. I am now approaching 79. That is perhaps 61 years. His house, during most of those years is on Barley Mill Road: very affluent: very affluent. I know Joe when I see him. Some things about Joe changed during 2019 as he looked and acted differently. Then God, through prophecies by Julie Green, started to refer to Biden as "The Biden" because the reflections of him through the videos of him were varied. He was not Joe as I had known him. Yes, "The Biden" was once again in evidence yesterday. That was not him. That was not a good act! Too fast. Too lucid. Staged! Poorly directed. But why? I actually believe Joe has been dead since 2021. Much of what we see concerning the dems is fake. Much of what we have seen and heard was NOT as it appeared. Much of what we are viewing and hearing is NOT as it appears. But WHY did they have this actor do this scene? That was the left hand. What is the right hand doing?
John, you are assuming the event happen at all! Ck out how good AI has become. He could be 'AI Joe'
Maybe I'll post 2 videos one real and the other AI and see if our members can figure out which is the real one.
It has been proven that body doubles using masks has happened. How much, how often, what situations, IDK. Biden especially, the scuttle online was about his ears in large part but there was another body/facial characteristic, but I don't remember at this moment. It's been a while.
Alright. in some photos/videos his ear lobes are attached to neck's skin. In other phoyos/videos, they are not. In one photo/video, his eyes are blue. In other videos, they are brown. In another video, "The Biden," wearing a buttoned collar dress shirt, shoves his pointing finger between his neck and the collar at the rear area of his collar to get at an itch. I have done the same many times. But, where his skin was dented due to the presence of his finger, the skin did not promptly return to its rightful position. BTW, Joe's eyes are blue. So much of what the dems show us is fake. This all will soon stop.
I can't wait till all is exposed and prosecuted and this country gets the wake-up call of all times......
We had four years of this lying,thieving,demented traitor. Why give him a second of attention? You can't fix stupid! but they still listen to this clown.
As you know I wrote the article as a joke because thats all he is and poor and sad joke.
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