BREAKING NEWS: President Obama has just confirmed that the DC earthquake occurred on a rare & obscure fault-line, apparently known as "Bush's Fault". Obama also announced that the Secret Service & Maxine Waters continue an investigation of the quake's suspicious ties to the Tea Party. Conservatives however, have proven that it was caused by the founding fathers rolling over in their graves.
Residents of D.C. Don't be alarmed with the Earthquakes. That is just the Country shifting to the RIGHT!
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