ACTION

Washington  DC , 20510   Dear  Senator Harkin,      As  a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue  Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted  the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the  process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to  you.   My  primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen  to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by  the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this  bill is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United  States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to  pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for only three of the last five  years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get  the process started before everyone figures it  out.   Simply  put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes  every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years  of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that  I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an  excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes  in 2004 and 2005.   Additionally,  as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room  as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying  premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save  almost $10,000 a year.   Another  benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would  receive preferential treatment relative to her law school  applications, as well as 'in-state' tuition rates for many  colleges throughout the United States for my  son.   Lastly,  I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of  renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car  insurance premiums. This is very important to me, given that I  still have college age children driving my  car.   If  you would provide me with an outline of the process to become  illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary  forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your  assistance   Your  Loyal Constituent, (hoping to reach 'illegal alien' status rather  than just a bonafide citizen of the USA ) Donald  Ruppert Burlington  , IA Get  your Forms (NOW)!! Call  your Internal Revenue Service at 1-800-289-1040 (Please  pass this on to your friends so they can save on this great  offer.)

This is an email that has been floating around on the internet!