There have been many times in my career that things that happened around me did not make sense. As a young man I was bothered by things like this and I obsessed endlessly over causation and effect. Things seemed more orderly if I could affix to every bad thing a simple, logical explanation. How much time I wasted searching for answers that would never come. I distinctly recall a bad accident scene we were assisting on many years ago where a teenager lost his life. I remember the darkness and the eerie way the overhead lights played off the trees. I remember the badly mangled vehicle that only bore a resemblance of what it once was. I remember how quickly the firemen worked to free him knowing that every second was precious. I remember the EMT’s and how they desperately tried everything they knew to save him. I also remember the sense of collective failure felt when it became apparent that everyone’s best efforts had failed. I remember a school book and a tennis shoe on the roadside. I remember a discussion between several of us later that night trying to understand why things like that happen. We would have these discussions time and time again when we worked a homicide, fatal accident, suicide, abused children, etc. and I ultimately arrived at the conclusion that there are things that will happen that do not make sense that I would not understand. But it did give me a better perspective on my own life and the lives of my loved ones and just how brittle the thread of life is. Looking back at that accident scene I wondered what the last conversation was that young man had with his loved ones. It made me think about how much grief I gave my youngest son for leaving a half-eaten burrito on a plate underneath his bed only to be discovered by his mother months later. I also remembered the first time my oldest son backed into a pole and dented up the car and how I responded. Reflecting on these things I realize that these were so insignificant in the big picture of life. I am glad those were not the last conversations I had with my boys. I also realized how truly blessed I am to have my wife and kids and I try to tell them every day how much I love them. Never forget that every breath you take is a miracle and none of us are promised tomorrow. Don’t waste time fretting over past mistakes or worrying about what tomorrow holds. Make use of your present and be grateful to God for all you have. And come to grips with the reality that you will not always understand what the Creator is doing.
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