The Front Page Cover
~ Featuring ~
MODERN TIMES
by Burt Prelutsky
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Jihadi Jeh Johnson – Trump Needs
A “Quality Guy” Like Him To Head DHS
by rickwells.us
{rickwells.us} ~ A persuasive argument could be made that had both Janet Napolitano and Jihadi Jeh Johnson not been appointed to their positions as Directors of Homeland Security and they been left vacant... we’d have been better off than with their corrupt negative influences. The same can be said for their predecessor, Michael “Rapiscan” Chertoff, the naked body scanner peddler. Now that there’s a vacancy that is being filled on an acting basis by Elaine Duke. Jihadi Jeh, the creator of the welfare for terrorists CVE program, thinks someone of “Cabinet Level” needs to be appointed. Is it too hard for his fellow jihadists to penetrate American defenses with Duke in the spot? The whole interview seems to have been set up to make that point and to take advantage of the calendar... https://rickwells.us/jihadi-jeh-trump-dhs/
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Tillerson State Dept. Demanding
Israel Hand Back Millions in U.S. Military Aid
by Adam Kredo
{freebeacon.com} ~ Secretary of State Rex Tillerson has been pushing the Trump White House to demand that Israel give back to the United States millions of dollars in military aid... prompting pushback in the West Wing and further fueling ongoing tensions between Foggy Bottom and the White House over a range of key diplomatic issues, according to multiple sources briefed on the situation. The former administration came under fire from congressional leaders and the pro-Israel community for conditioning U.S. military aid—a cornerstone of the U.S.-Israel alliance—on a provision that bars Israel from lobbying Congress for increased aid as a range of conflicts in the Middle East develop...Tillerson should be focusing on Islamic Charities rather on Israel. http://freebeacon.com/national-security/tillerson-state-dept-demanding-israel-hand-back-millions-u-s-military-aid/?utm_source=Freedom+Mail&utm_campaign=aaa6de1ef5-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2017_09_11&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_b5e6e0e9ea-aaa6de1ef5-45611665.
Investigation into liar-Clinton lawyers
accused of deleting emails is ordered
Cheryl Mills
by foxnews.com
{foxnews.com} ~ A Maryland county judge has ordered the state bar to investigate three lawyers accused of deleting thousands of liar-Hillary Clinton's emails... Circuit Judge Paul F. Harris Jr. ruled Monday that the Attorney Grievance Commission and Office of Bar Counsel Maryland Office of Bar Counsel must look into complaints against Cheryl Mills, Heather Samuelson and David E. Kendall, citing "allegations of destroying evidence,” according to the Washington Times... http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2017/09/11/investigation-into-clinton-lawyers-accused-deleting-emails-is-ordered.html
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{greatamericandaily.com} ~ Donald Trump isn’t just fighting the Democrats to pass his agenda. RINO Senators are blocking his efforts to repeal Obamacare and build the wall... But these backstabbing traitors just got the worst news of their lives. Former Trump Chief Strategist Steve Bannon has been meeting with primary challengers to incumbent Republican senators. He’s looking to back pro-Trump candidates to take down RINOs who betrayed Trump and the GOP voters who sent them to Washington. Bannon has already endorsed Judge Roy Moore in the Alabama senate runoff... http://greatamericandaily.com/rino-senators-were-in-a-panic-after-receiving-the-worst-news-of-their-lives/
RINO Senators Were In A Panic
After Receiving The Worst News Of Their Lives
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American Flags Trashed At University’s 9/11 Memorial
by Rob Shimshock
{dailycaller.com} ~ A man was caught on camera ripping small American flags out of a 9/11 memorial at Columbia University Monday...The unidentified man did not stop after he stripped the memorial of 50 flags and threw them in the trash, but returned to collect more, reported Campus Reform...What kind of person would this. http://dailycaller.com/2017/09/12/american-flags-trashed-at-universitys-911-memorial-video/?utm_medium=email
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All the chatter about DACA (Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals) (aka Democrats Aiding Criminal Aliens) almost makes me long for the good old days when the media was going berserk over Trump’s alleged collusion with Russia.
What Barack liar-nObama did when he granted amnesty to the so-called Dreamers was, as he kept saying before finally deciding to do it, unconstitutional.
I agree that for Congress, it’s a bit of a sticky wicket. After all, for the most part, these young people had no say in whether their parents snuck into the United States. But therein lies part of the problem. If the kids had only been babies or toddlers when they arrived, the problem would have been easier to resolve. Now that they’re in their 20s and 30s, so long as they didn’t have a criminal record, the decent thing would be to let them stay.
The problem then would be that the liberals would insist that if they got to stay, so should their relatives. According to the mantra of the Left, we mustn’t do anything that might split up families. The fact they choose to ignore is that the illegal aliens split up their own families every time they sneak into this country, leaving their spouses and kids behind.
One of the other problems is that a large number of the Dreamers came here as teenagers, not as tots, and apparently of their own volition.
In any case, as I see it, people are not supposed to profit from the commission of a crime unless, it seems, they happen to be Hispanic. The Dreamers have no business being immune from deportation. After all, if you rob a bank, your wife and children aren’t entitled to keep the loot simply because they didn’t case the First National or drive the getaway car.
● Speaking of DACA, it will probably come as no surprise that Cher, a devout Never-Trumper, has announced that she will be inviting one of the Dreamers to live in her house, and has called upon other show business types to do the same. Of course, it should be remembered that the ex-diva’s last public announcement was that she was leaving America if Trump won the election, and yet here she is, still residing in her very own Old People’s Home.
This time, though, she might actually be telling the truth. That is, if she can manage to find a 24-year-old Dreamer who just happens to look like a young Antonio Banderas.
● Apparently, some college was so hard up for a commencement speaker, they invited John hanoi-Kerry to do the honors. Those who managed to remain awake got to hear him welcome the grads to a world without borders. Apparently, nobody on the premises got to ask him which world he had in mind.
I mean, I suppose if he was referring to the U.S. and the E.U., his point was well taken. But even someone as stupid as our former Secretary of State knows that China, Russia, Turkey, India, Iran, Japan, North and South Korea, Australia, Israel and Mexico, just to name a handful of the more obvious exceptions, take their borders very seriously. In fact, in a world with a population of seven billion, it’s only the nations whose population amounts to roughly 10% of that total that have decided that national sovereignty is the equivalent of a four-letter word.
I can just see one of those young squirts showing up at the Russian border, and then, like someone during the days of speakeasies, trying to gain entry by telling the border guards that “hanoi-Kerry sent me.”
● I keep hearing that driverless cars will be the next big thing in the automotive world. If by big thing, they’re talking about the likes of Edsel’s and electric cars, I might agree. But I can’t imagine anything as nerve-racking as sitting in a car that is driving itself.
I know that the argument is that 40,000 people die every year in the U.S., thanks to traffic accidents, caused mainly by idiots driving under the influence of booze, drugs or cell phones. But I suspect I would have to be drunk as a lord before I’d get into a car and tell it to take me home. Besides, it will work on electronics. Which means that it will be as susceptible as your computer, my computer and the Pentagon’s computers, to the mischief of hackers who have nothing better to do with their time than create Internet viruses.
But, whereas the schmucks who create those viruses can only imagine the havoc they’re causing, this new breed will be able to sit home in their parents’ basements and watch hundred-car pile-ups on their TVs.
● It figures that the City Council of Sacramento, the city that is the capital of the zoo known as California, would come up with a plan that pays MS-13 $1.5 million not to kill people. Naturally, being politicians, they don’t put it that bluntly. Instead, they pretend the money will go towards providing the vicious punks with job skills. Perhaps if the city had a mayor like Rudy Giuliani, he might have suggested the Council invest the money in building up the police department or enlarging the city jail. But, unfortunately, the mayor is a guy named Darrell Steinberg, which begs the question whether in the entire nation there is a single Jewish politician who isn’t a left-wing moron.
Being a Jew myself, you can imagine how embarrassing it is that every time you hear some creep on TV denouncing Trump and his agenda, it’s someone named clown-Schumer, Blumenthal, Wasserman-Schultz, Sherman, Schiff, Cardin, Feinstein, Lowenthal, Sanders or Franken.
It’s one of those unfortunate facts of life that it’s always been Jews like Jack Benny, George Burns, Alan King, Danny Kaye, Dinah Shore, Milton Berle, Michael Landon, Albert Brooks, Lauren Bacall, Walter Matthau, Jane Seymour, Gene Wilder, Tony Curtis, Kirk Douglas, Leslie Howard, Woody Allen, Joan Rivers, Lorne Green, Rodney Dangerfield, Tony Randall, Jill St. John, Steve Lawrence, Elliott Gould and Judy Holliday, who change their names, and never one of those damn political hacks.
● Because the jokes I have on hand are either suitable but not funny or funny but not suitable, I’ll close with some of the odd facts passed along by Joe Neuner, the man who has singlehandedly put Olathe, Kansas, on the map.
It is impossible to lick your own elbow.
The state with the largest percentage of people who walk to work is Alaska.
Men can read smaller print than women; women can hear better. I believe men can hear just fine; they just don’t always care to listen to a litany of their shortcomings.
The percentage of Africa that is wilderness is 28%, but the percentage of North America that is wilderness is 38%.
The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of 11 is $16,400. A lot of money, I grant you, but keep in mind that 11 is a bit past middle-age for a dog, and in the meantime, Fido won’t use drugs, insist on driving your car or squander your life savings by wasting four years pursuing a liberal arts degree.
The first novel ever written on a typewriter was “Tom Sawyer.”
The San Francisco cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.
Fifty percent of all Americans live within 50 miles of their birthplace. Apparently, for half of us, our get-up never really got going.
The one thing that bulletproof vests, fire escapes windshield wipers and laser printers, all have in common is that they were invented by women.
The only food that doesn’t spoil is honey.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, a show of hands: How many of you have finally stopped trying and are now convinced that you really can’t lick your own elbow?
MODERN TIMES
by Burt Prelutsky
All the chatter about DACA (Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals) (aka Democrats Aiding Criminal Aliens) almost makes me long for the good old days when the media was going berserk over Trump’s alleged collusion with Russia.
What Barack liar-nObama did when he granted amnesty to the so-called Dreamers was, as he kept saying before finally deciding to do it, unconstitutional.
I agree that for Congress, it’s a bit of a sticky wicket. After all, for the most part, these young people had no say in whether their parents snuck into the United States. But therein lies part of the problem. If the kids had only been babies or toddlers when they arrived, the problem would have been easier to resolve. Now that they’re in their 20s and 30s, so long as they didn’t have a criminal record, the decent thing would be to let them stay.
The problem then would be that the liberals would insist that if they got to stay, so should their relatives. According to the mantra of the Left, we mustn’t do anything that might split up families. The fact they choose to ignore is that the illegal aliens split up their own families every time they sneak into this country, leaving their spouses and kids behind.
One of the other problems is that a large number of the Dreamers came here as teenagers, not as tots, and apparently of their own volition.
In any case, as I see it, people are not supposed to profit from the commission of a crime unless, it seems, they happen to be Hispanic. The Dreamers have no business being immune from deportation. After all, if you rob a bank, your wife and children aren’t entitled to keep the loot simply because they didn’t case the First National or drive the getaway car.
● Speaking of DACA, it will probably come as no surprise that Cher, a devout Never-Trumper, has announced that she will be inviting one of the Dreamers to live in her house, and has called upon other show business types to do the same. Of course, it should be remembered that the ex-diva’s last public announcement was that she was leaving America if Trump won the election, and yet here she is, still residing in her very own Old People’s Home.
This time, though, she might actually be telling the truth. That is, if she can manage to find a 24-year-old Dreamer who just happens to look like a young Antonio Banderas.
● Apparently, some college was so hard up for a commencement speaker, they invited John hanoi-Kerry to do the honors. Those who managed to remain awake got to hear him welcome the grads to a world without borders. Apparently, nobody on the premises got to ask him which world he had in mind.
I mean, I suppose if he was referring to the U.S. and the E.U., his point was well taken. But even someone as stupid as our former Secretary of State knows that China, Russia, Turkey, India, Iran, Japan, North and South Korea, Australia, Israel and Mexico, just to name a handful of the more obvious exceptions, take their borders very seriously. In fact, in a world with a population of seven billion, it’s only the nations whose population amounts to roughly 10% of that total that have decided that national sovereignty is the equivalent of a four-letter word.
I can just see one of those young squirts showing up at the Russian border, and then, like someone during the days of speakeasies, trying to gain entry by telling the border guards that “hanoi-Kerry sent me.”
● I keep hearing that driverless cars will be the next big thing in the automotive world. If by big thing, they’re talking about the likes of Edsel’s and electric cars, I might agree. But I can’t imagine anything as nerve-racking as sitting in a car that is driving itself.
I know that the argument is that 40,000 people die every year in the U.S., thanks to traffic accidents, caused mainly by idiots driving under the influence of booze, drugs or cell phones. But I suspect I would have to be drunk as a lord before I’d get into a car and tell it to take me home. Besides, it will work on electronics. Which means that it will be as susceptible as your computer, my computer and the Pentagon’s computers, to the mischief of hackers who have nothing better to do with their time than create Internet viruses.
But, whereas the schmucks who create those viruses can only imagine the havoc they’re causing, this new breed will be able to sit home in their parents’ basements and watch hundred-car pile-ups on their TVs.
● It figures that the City Council of Sacramento, the city that is the capital of the zoo known as California, would come up with a plan that pays MS-13 $1.5 million not to kill people. Naturally, being politicians, they don’t put it that bluntly. Instead, they pretend the money will go towards providing the vicious punks with job skills. Perhaps if the city had a mayor like Rudy Giuliani, he might have suggested the Council invest the money in building up the police department or enlarging the city jail. But, unfortunately, the mayor is a guy named Darrell Steinberg, which begs the question whether in the entire nation there is a single Jewish politician who isn’t a left-wing moron.
Being a Jew myself, you can imagine how embarrassing it is that every time you hear some creep on TV denouncing Trump and his agenda, it’s someone named clown-Schumer, Blumenthal, Wasserman-Schultz, Sherman, Schiff, Cardin, Feinstein, Lowenthal, Sanders or Franken.
It’s one of those unfortunate facts of life that it’s always been Jews like Jack Benny, George Burns, Alan King, Danny Kaye, Dinah Shore, Milton Berle, Michael Landon, Albert Brooks, Lauren Bacall, Walter Matthau, Jane Seymour, Gene Wilder, Tony Curtis, Kirk Douglas, Leslie Howard, Woody Allen, Joan Rivers, Lorne Green, Rodney Dangerfield, Tony Randall, Jill St. John, Steve Lawrence, Elliott Gould and Judy Holliday, who change their names, and never one of those damn political hacks.
● Because the jokes I have on hand are either suitable but not funny or funny but not suitable, I’ll close with some of the odd facts passed along by Joe Neuner, the man who has singlehandedly put Olathe, Kansas, on the map.
It is impossible to lick your own elbow.
The state with the largest percentage of people who walk to work is Alaska.
Men can read smaller print than women; women can hear better. I believe men can hear just fine; they just don’t always care to listen to a litany of their shortcomings.
The percentage of Africa that is wilderness is 28%, but the percentage of North America that is wilderness is 38%.
The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of 11 is $16,400. A lot of money, I grant you, but keep in mind that 11 is a bit past middle-age for a dog, and in the meantime, Fido won’t use drugs, insist on driving your car or squander your life savings by wasting four years pursuing a liberal arts degree.
The first novel ever written on a typewriter was “Tom Sawyer.”
The San Francisco cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.
Fifty percent of all Americans live within 50 miles of their birthplace. Apparently, for half of us, our get-up never really got going.
The one thing that bulletproof vests, fire escapes windshield wipers and laser printers, all have in common is that they were invented by women.
The only food that doesn’t spoil is honey.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, a show of hands: How many of you have finally stopped trying and are now convinced that you really can’t lick your own elbow?
If you want to Comment directly to Burt Prelutsky, please mention my name Rudy. BurtPrelutsky@aol.com
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