I had to repost this cause it's that good.
A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Like so many
> others her age, she considered herself to be very liberal, and among
> other liberal ideals, was very much in favor of higher taxes to support
> more government programs, in other words redistribution of wealth.
>
> She was deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch conservative,
> a feeling she openly expressed. Based on the lectures that she had
> participated in, and the occasional chat with a professor, she felt that
> her father had for years harbored an evil, selfish desire to keep what
> He thought should be his.
>
> One day she was challenging her father on his opposition to higher taxes
> on the rich and the need for more government programs. The self-professed
> objectivity proclaimed by her professors had to be the truth and she
> indicated so to her father. He responded by asking how she was doing in
> school. Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA,
> and let him know that it was tough to maintain, insisting that she was
> taking a very difficult course load and was constantly studying, which
> left her no time to go out and party like other people she knew. She
> didn't even have time for a boyfriend, and didn't really have many
> college friends because she spent all her time studying.
>
> Her father listened and then asked, "How is your friend Audrey doing?"
> She replied, "Audrey is barely getting by. All she takes are easy
> classes, she never studies and she barely has a 2.0 GPA. She is so popular
> on campus; college for her is a blast. She's always invited to all the
> parties and lots of times she doesn't even show up for classes because
> she's too hung over."
>
> Her wise father asked his daughter, "Why don't you go to the Dean's
> office and ask him to deduct 1.0 off your GPA and give it to your friend
> who only has a 2.0. That way you will both have a 3.0 GPA and certainly
> that would be a fair and equal distribution of GPA."
>
> The daughter, visibly shocked by her father's suggestion, angrily fired
> back, "That's a crazy idea, how would that be fair! I've worked really
> hard for my grades! I've invested a lot of time, and a lot of hard work!
> Audrey has done next to nothing toward her degree. She played while I
> worked my tail off!" The father slowly smiled, winked and said gently,
> "Welcome to the conservative side of the fence."
>
> If you ever wondered what side of the fence you sit on, this is a great
> test!
>
> If a conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one.
> If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.
>
> If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat.
> If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for
> everyone.
>
> If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his
> situation.
> A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.
>
> If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels.
> Liberals demand that those they don't like be shut down.
>
> If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church.
> A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced.
> (Unless it's a foreign religion, of course!)
>
> If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping
> for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
> A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.
>
> If a conservative reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a
> good laugh.
> A liberal will delete it because he's "offended."
