ACTION

In 1960 Kansas, almost everyone I knew seemed happy and content.  I did not know anyone who didn't have a father and mother, at home, and divorce was nonexistent. I was 10 years old.  We walked or road our bikes to school.  We came home for lunch which our mother fixed!  My older brother and I ate super every night with both parents who played games, like Bridge, with us afterward.  On weekends we fished, hunted, or drove to Kansas City to see our relatives.

We loved to be outdoors, even when the weather was unpleasant.  My brother and I would brag we could go to a fixing spot and catch a fix just from what people left behind.  Our poles were branches.  Usually a hook was around.  A twig was our bobber. We built sod forts and staged dirt clod fights with other kids.  There was plenty of spare wood around to make swords, and use trash can lids as our shields.

In the Summer we would ride our bikes downtown to swim at the public pool.  My mother would take me to the golf course to walk and carry my own bag of clubs. Church and church activities were a large part of our lives.  It seems you were either a Baptist or Church of Christ.  We managed to get along with each other.

In school the day was started with the Lords Prayer, and saying the Pledge of Allegiance. Our teachers were  like aunts and uncles and most people learned and memorized things like our spelling words and multiplication tables.

My father gave me a good allowance.  I wasn't happy with that and arranged to sell TV guides door to door.  I made 4 cents a copy.  I enjoyed working with my father on Saturdays in the yard or home.  As I got older, I started selling stamps by mail and published a newspaper for stamp collections from a mimeograph my parents bought we for Christmas.

How I cringe at the youth of today.  They can't talk, spell or make change.  The can punch  keys all day long and use four letter words with ease.   One author referred to them as "deluded narcissists."  The self absorbed society we have created should worry any patriot.  Only 20% of high school student in my state know why we celebrate the 4th of July.  I bet they know the name of every Ipod out there.

DIVORCE AGREEMENT - THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY WELL PUT AND I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT'S BY A YOUNG PERSON, A STUDENT!!! WHATEVER HE RUNS FOR, I'LL VOTE FOR HIM.

  Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:

  We have stuck together since the late 1950's for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.
  Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.
  HERE IS OUR SEPARATION AGREEMENT:
  --Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.
  --We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them.
  --You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.
  --Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military.
  --We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and the coal mines, and you can go with wind, solar and biodiesel.
  --You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.
  --We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street.
  --You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal aliens.
  --We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks.
  --We'll keep Bill O'Reilly, and Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .
  --You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.
  --You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.
  --We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.
  --You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.
  --We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Volt and Leaf you can find.
  --You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.
  --We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National anthem."
  --I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya" or "We Are the World".
  --We'll practice trickle-down economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.
  --Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.
  Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you might think about which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

  Sincerely, John J. Wall, Law Student and an American

  P.S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin & Charlie Sheen, Barbara Streisand, & ( Hanoi ) Jane Fonda with you and you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our country.