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Words of Wisdom from Wanda Draper, 

"When you are at the end of your rope; tie a knot!"

Honoring my mother here will help you with some original parenting tips; I promise.  Do you have an extremely difficult time getting your children from young ages to teens to do work around the house?  Have to justify to the younger ones why the older one's get more money?

My mother's system is full prove.  Mom gave us age appropriate tasks.  Here comes the trick.  Tell the kids, "Any money you find you can keep!"  This system serves as a tracking and monitoring system.  If your memory is lacking; write down where, how much money and the task assigned to each child.  If all the money is gone, then the child should have cleaned well.  You have to hide it good enough to get the results you want.  Design the task so it is fair for the child's ability.  We were motivated to do the chores for what ended up to be our allowance. Mom is quite an inventive lady.

Mom's of teens that are driving and have a curfewcurfew; want to know what time they come up but not sit up and wait on them?  Are you a light sleeper or at least you can wake up if a pop bottle is kicked over?Tricky mom used to put out two to three litter bottles of cokes right in the walking pathway of coming in the door.  You would have to kick them over in the dark.  The noise would wake mom up so she could look at the clock and deal with you the next morning.  You can bet she did deal with us if it was after curfew when we snuck in under cover of dark instead of on time turning the lights on.

Want a car game that everybody can play, even the driver?  This game is obscure in origins.  We grew up on it as we traveled all over the US and Canada.  Zip-Zip is what we called it.  The idea was to get as many horses as one could.  If you said zip-zip,it was a group of horses and you were first then those horses were yours.  A white horse counted as two.  If you ziped a cow you lost all your horses.  This may seem weird but wheever anybody saw a cementary the first to call out slppsky got everybody's horses.  You can divide the teams into front seat and back seat or boy's against the girls.  Better yet think of some way you want to divide teams your way.  It is competitive and funny.

I was the youngest in the family.  Often nobody wanted me to be on their team.  You guessed it; I zipped a lot of cows being eager to win.  One time I saw a mountain lion chained lying underneath a car.  Learning my lessons, I screamed, "Is that horse? Is that a horse daddy?"

My dad couldn't believe his eyes.  We stopped and talked with the owner.  I even got to pet it that day.  I have to admit that is a strange event.  I had never seen a mountain lion but I didn't loose my horses that day

Did you like my "Hand Me Down Tips From My Mom?"  I may make this an event giving more of her secrets.  Then again I might want to keep her wisdom to myself.  Lots of great stuff from my mom!

This can be seen on my blogs too but was posted here on Bloggy Mom's first!

Why is it that when you try to impart what I term as " Turds of Wisdom" to someone, they continue to disregard your information. I realize that this may sound petty, but I have been through many situations throughout the 50 years of my lifetime, and have experienced so many different things and experimented with all types of solutions to solve the answers to problems that have been presented to me throughout my lifetime yet this Wisdom I have garnered throughout all of that is nothing to these people.

I have to quote from who I consider my mentors on the topics of which I speak of and that would be both Albert Einstein and Robert Heinlein. Now of course these men are both dead which means they can’t argue with me, but their words will live on forever….

"The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive. "

or

"Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen."

Or one you might find this one more appropriate to this blog tr y this from Robert Heinlein:

Robert Heinlein

Ever wonder how things can get so screwed up. Is it a lack of communication? Consider the following story….. 

In the beginning was the plan 
And then came the assumptions 
And the assumptions were without form 
And the plan was completely without substance 
And the darkness was upon the faces of the Workers 
And they spoke unto their Group Heads, saying: 
"It is a crock of shit and it stinketh". 
And the Group Heads went unto their Section Heads and sayeth: 
"It is a pail of dung, and none may abide the odour thereof' ..” 
And the Section Heads went unto their Managers and sayeth to them: 
"It is a container of excrement, and it’s aroma very strong, 
. Such that none here may abide by it". 
And the managers went unto their Director and sayeth unto him: 
"It contains that which aids plant growth, and it’s fragrance is very powerful". 
And the Director went unto the Assistant Deputy Minister 
and sayeth unto him: 
"It promoteth growth, and it is very powerful". 
And the A.D.M. went unto the Deputy Minister and sayeth unto him: 
"This powerful new plan will actively promote the growth and 
Efficiency of the Department, and this area in particular". 
And the Deputy Minister looked upon the plan, 
And saw that it 'was good’. 

And this is how a crock of shit becomes policy. 

Now you might wonder how something like the above can actually take place. Well consider the following story……. 

When the human body was first made, all of its parts had a meeting. 

They all agreed there had to be a leader, a boss, to make sure everything ran smoothly. 

First the brain spoke up saying he should be boss cuz he coordinated every function. 

But the heart objected saying if it wasn't for him constantly pumping life's blood to every part, nothing could happen. 

Then the lungs interjected, "I should be boss cuz I supply the oxygen necessary for the blood to be viable. 

"Wait a minute," responded the liver. "I make sure the blood and other vital fluids are healthy constantly cleansing them of toxins and poisons. 

Even the spleen extolled it should be boss cuz he was the one who actually manufactured enough blood so the body could function. 

This went on and on with the arms, legs, kidneys, stomach, eyes, teeth and all the other parts putting in their arguments why they should be boss. 

Then when all thought the debate was over, the "asshole" boastfully bellowed, "I demand to be boss!" 

Upon hearing that, all the other body parts broke out into loud laughter at that "absurd" idea. 

Taken aback by that harsh rebuke of his demand, the asshole puckered up refusing to participate in any more discussion. 

Soon the brain became dizzy and feverish. 

The heart struggled to keep pumping. 

The lungs found it increasingly difficult to draw in much needed air. 

The arms soon hung limply to the side. 

The eyes blurred. 

And so it went with every part of the body. 

And emergency meeting was called. And soon all capitulated for the sake of the whole. 

So that's how the "asshole" became the boss. 


Now I know you think this was all meant to be funny, but is it really??? 

The reason that we have such shit policy is because assholes are in charge. It time for them to go. Remember, shit flows down hill.