Grandpa's Cracked Mirror

A janitor was my Grandpa.
Found a cracked mirror one day.
I asked could have it in hand.
No was what he first said.
Cancer shot him from his stand.
Soon he would be dead.
It meant lots on this command.
He gave it to me as he fled.
Died October 1968.
That cracked mirror kept I did.
Where is it hid?
I know it is in my memory.
Where is it physically?
I will find it again one day.
Pass on to my son for keepsake,
As I explain,
What is meant behind
Grandpa's Cracked Mirror!
All rights reserved.

One night as I will lovingly recall, I climbed windmills for about three hours in Weatherford, Oklahoma with a friend named (changed to protect identity) Marshall.  We drove around the town and others had paired off and I was just friends with Marhsall.  It was awkward in the car so I said let's go climbing windmills in the country.
It was a risky idea.  We climbed about twenty.  The boards on many of the windmills were rotton.  Marshall was a bit overweight. I am now but wasn't at the time.  It was a blast.  I came closer to Marshall that night than I ever had before.  Marshall has a voice like no other.  He sang that night so that I almost fell in love with him.
I had meet Marshall before college on a program in high school on a program called Close Up.  Where a bunch of kids went to Washington DC with their history class.  Marshall was a fun person to talk to then and on that night climbing windmills in Weatherford.
We climbed about 10 all together.  It was hard, fun and exciting.  We found out a lot about each other that night.  We bonded by helping each other, catching each other and becoming a team.  It is like managment weekend retreats where you pay a hefty some to become a team.
The moon was shining bright that night. If it hadn't been I am sure we would have made a trip to the ER with a couple of broken limbs.  We covered everything from children to how we felt about God and plans for the future.  Because we were going to be pharmacists; we talked about why we were becoming pharmacists and what we wanted our careers to look like in the future.
The views of Weatherford in the moonlight from the top of windmill were breath taking also.  I will remember climbing the windmills in Weatherford that night with Marshall for a lifetime.  Marshall is married to another person and I am too.  We were never connected in that way.
However, that night climbing windmills will always be special and tucked away in my memory forever.  This is something people do not get going to a school like Oklahoma University.  There is something to be said for going to a smaller school. I am not bad mouthing OU.  I am only stating that there are things a small town university offers that a big one doesn't. Where would you ever go climbing windmills in Norman, Oklahoma?

Born in 1884.
Lied to get into the Army.
Spanish American Veteran you were as well as through WWII.
Loan sharked to get money for dental school,
Wound up in West Point you did.
Proud of the loan sharking you were not.
A Lt. Colonel you became.
Life lessons many you taught to me and can claim.
A Kentucky woodsman you were.
Talking of barefoot summers and stonebruises.
Thanfulness to my parents I shoud be for having shoes all year round.
Jesse James Cornett DDS Lt. Colonel, West Point Grad,
How sad,
More do not know about you.
I promise to tell others so your life is not adieu.
A great and honorable man you were and are in heaven,
Those on earth shall hear from me about you all days seven!
All rights reserved

Yes, an early early outpost.

Hidden on a modern highway, people going

by and by. A graveyard of stories to spout.

The names of those,

Lived on post.

Died of most,

and many causes; lots.

Oklahoma make it,

Part of old 66

Driving rituals!

Stop all this sfuff; being so virtual!

"Oklahoma's first camp for kids with autism spectrum disorders, including Asperger's. Three types of camps: Resident Camps, Day Camps and weekend family camps. Camp Grey Squirrel is a 501(c)(3) non profit organization.

Hello, to those that are sharing their stories of autism this month.  I will partition the moments of "Autism Making Me Aware of Life," by **.  I have quite a few short stories that will be too hard to tell as a complete essay.  I think you will appreciate the break by ** once you read the posts.

*********Forget the Inteligence Tests Listen to Them First

My father, George Tanner Mallo had died shortly before this had happened.  Thus, my son, Tanner Mack Adcock was jumpy at the word death, died and gone.  I was driving the MGB Midget my father had given me or agreed that I could have before he died.

I only asked him to play me cards for it in the hospital as a way to get his goat and side track him from the pain.  It was a bad move because he said I could have it and took it that I was waiting for him to die.  Once I explained to dad he understood.  Tanner spoke up at this time and said, "No Grandpa you have to stay here!"

I only included that to show you how close we both were to this man. We would have done anything for him to stay with us on Earth longer.  Yet, that was not to be.

Back to the driving the car.  It died.  I used that word! OH NO!  Tanner went into meltdown mode.  I said, "Don't worry Uncle Gary will go get a battery for it."

Thinking me an idiot, my son exclaimed, "Well let's go get Grandpa a battery!"

This was enough to show me my son had logical and reasoning skills beyond what he was showing at school.  He grasped a concept for which his testing revealed he could not.  Therefore parents listen and key in on what your children say and do.  This doesn't mean they are a genius but it may mean they have strenghts and reasoning above what they show to others.  Or, that others are seeing.

**********Toilet Paper in the Pool

Children see what grownups fail to see.  Next time your child says something look carefully again.  My son  kept asking me why the old people put toilet paper in the pool.  I kept saying they don't.

I took my son swimming almost every day after preschoool and kindergarten.  I cried when he went to first grade as I did the day I went back to work after his birth.

He was so persistent that I almost yelled at him to stop talking about it.  I was patient enough to say they don't Tanner.  Finally one day bending over to grap out towels I grasped what my son saw.  I laughed all the way home and my poor son was mad thinking I was laughing at him.

The old people in the pool were senior citizens that had a Water Aerobics class after our family free swim. Can you venture a guess what he saw for toilet paper?  Think or try!  The dumbells they use in water aerobics sound familiar?  Well the ones they used in this class were all white.  Look close and they resemble toilet paper on each end of the stick!

See what I mean about looking closer the next time your child says he sees something!  Tanner was right it looked as if the old people were putting toilet paper in the pool.

********My son diagnosis me correctly after a car wreck

A neuropsycholigist couldn't diagnose me correctly or admit she might be 0.1% wrong. She ended up being 100% wrong.  I had a mild Traumatic Brain INjury.  I was dizzy, mood, irriatiblae and tired all them time.  Sometimes I still am.

My neuro-psyche had me labled something clearly I wasn't.  Finally, an audilogy test showed I had vestibular dysfunction of central orgin. Meaning not to do with the ears but in the brain.  Thus, it had to be due to the brain injury.

My son had tole me I was different since the wreck.  He said mommy you are different.  Vestibular physical therapy helped. I still get tired easy but it is quite a bit better.

**********The lighter side of autism and concrete thinking.

My son asked me about milk money.  I knew something was up and thought oh no a bully moment.  I explained what milk money was.

I asked him why.  He told me some kids wanted his milk money.

Guess wha he told them?  No because he had no milk money.

LOL!!! He had money but no "MILK MONEY!"

**************Most gentl and thoughtful again blowing theory of                                      mind!!!

When my son was little he wanted me not to work. I gave him an allowance for completing chores he did.  I remember one day saying I had to go to work.  He said why! I said I had to earn money to pay the bills.

He so innocently offered to pay me out of his allowance.

*************These are what autism has made me aware of in life.

These moments have shown me a world of awe!  They show me that these kids think quite a bit more than most.  They may appear to be lacking in thought but are really deeper in thought than most.

America’s Registry of Outstanding Professionals Recognizes Sandra Lynn Mallo Adcock

http://www.pr.com/press-release/544143

Sandra Lynn Mallo Adcock of Yukon, Oklahoma has recently been recognized by America’s Registry of Outstanding Professionals as Professional of the Year 2013 for her outstanding contributions and achievements in the field of Healthcare Advocacy.

Farmingdale, NY, April 05, 2014 --(PR.com)-- Sandra Lynn Adcock was born in Aurora, Colorado. She earned her B.S. in Pharmacy at Southwestern Oklahoma State University. Her D.Ph. (Doctor of Pharmacy) and her M.S.M. (Master of Science in Management) were earned at South Nazarene University. Dr. Adcock is currently associated with Reframing Resources, a nonprofit organization, as CEO, Pharmacist, Educator, Consultant and Advocate. Her expertise lies in health literacy, healthcare advocacy and resource management. She is Co-Author with Debra Brakefield of a book in progress titled “Once and for Autism.” Dr. Adcock has been honored with the NAPW Professional Woman of the Year 2013 award. She is associated with the National Association of Professional Women, the Mary Mahoney Health Center in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, Oklahoma Youth and Family Services, the Skyline Urban Ministries Clearing House located within Skyline, Youth Family Services, El Reno, Oklahoma and AutismCanadianValley.org. Her leisure time is spent swimming, reading, writing, politics and family activities.
Being a member of America’s Registry of Outstanding Professionals gives the business professional the type of recognition that he/she strives for. The networking potential is here for members to communicate with each other within their own industry or in a different industry or profession. This is applicable on a nationwide and global basis. It provides the members with the opportunity to gain image and credibility to themselves and their organization. This is without a doubt, a powerful third party endorsement.

http://www.redorbit.com/news/health/1113033032/the-national-association-of-professional-women-announces-sandra-lynn-mallo/ Garden City, NY (PRWEB) December 19, 2013 NAPW honors Sandra Lynn Mallo Adcock, D.Ph., M.S.M., as a 2013/2014 Professional Woman of the Year for leadership with this prestigious distinction. As the largest, most-recognized organization of women in the country, spanning virtually every industry and profession, the National Association of Professional women is a vibrant networking community with over 500,000 members and nearly 400 Local Chapters. “I want my new business to reach an audience who does not have the time to get the needed information and resources they need,” says Ms. Adcock. A pharmacist, educator, consultant and advocate, Ms. Adcock has been inspired by many in her life, including her parents, to launch her home-based business in order to help those in the special or exceptional needs community. In addition to offering guidance to those with special needs as they transition into adulthood, Ms. Adcock wants to focus on helping the elderly. She will use the skills she has acquired throughout her professional life to make her business a success. She has worked as a pharmacist and high school biology teacher and as a volunteer with a number of nonprofits, all of which enable her to think outside the box when it comes to finding key solutions to problems. Ms. Adcock is passionate about helping those who cannot help themselves in part because of the challenges she has personally faced. “Advocating for myself when I knew I needed different medical treatment and fighting for my son when I knew as a parent I was right. The schools have been my best ally,” she says. Wanda Draper, Ph.D., is the professional woman who inspired Sandra to write a book to help others in the target audience of special needs or autism. Her book, Your Child Is Smarter Than You Think, which is being re-released soon; gave her back gumption and confidence as a parent. She knew her little one was hiding his secrets of true intelligence. Confirmation came recently from a Microsoft Grade Readability Calculator; showing eleventh grade and sixth month level. "There is some error but he is afraid to show his true talents because of anxiety. Wanda is right!," says Ms. Adcock.

Sandra Adcock

*****Link below is the link to Autism Speaks Medication Guide -----Which I give a C in my books. 

Page on autismspeaks.org

First, let's start with the name, "Autism and Medication: Safe and Careful use."  The guide gets away from "Medication Use," and into when medication should be used.  This is a parent decision. It may belong in a PDF Titled, "Medication to use or not to use!"  The decicion to use has nothing to do with a PDF titled "Safe and Careful use."

Second, after the decision to use medication has been made; it is not Autism Speaks duty to caution once again that medication should be a last ditch effort.  I agree medication are for me the last choice but have used them at a time in my son's life when it was appropriate.  That is more of a decision left between doctor and parent.  I do not want to imply that because I think usually medication in autism should be considere last; that a parent that chooses otherwise is wrong. Autism speaks should not imply this either.  

Third, the list of medications is not exaustive enough.  I will list Low Dose Naltrexeone Therapy. Here are two things you can read about it.  I am not advocating it or saying not to choose it.  I simply present it here as one choice that is unlisted in the PDF of Autism Speaks.

*****Page on lowdosenaltrexone.org

*****Low Dose Naltrexone for Autism

Fourth, there is no interview with a pharmacist as a specialist.  Why is this?  It says talk to your doctor or nurse.  Check with pharmacist for more information.  Why not talk to one when putting together this information?

Fifth,  Autism Speaks talks about teaching the child to swallow and how to reward the child/kid for doing so.  What is wrong with them?  Have they never heard of sensory issues?  Some places change the flavors for these reasons.   When is it better to ask for a chewable tablet that can be put in a specific medium?  Ever heard of plugging a capsule?  It would mask the taste and make it easer to swallow.

I wish I had time to go into all the reasons and what "plugging a capsule," is.   My point is this PDF as a tool kit is biased.  Doesn't take into consideration autistics personal sensory issues and more. It is lacking in basic autism reasoning.  Futhermore, there needs to be more information on various drugs covered.

This information is not intended to be about replacing or telling you what to do.  As with all medical decesions, check with your providers before doing anything. I am not responsible for your lack of research in treating your son/daughter.  I only wish to inform you if you use this tool it is one sided and you need more information.

You are not a bad person if you choose drugs before other therapies. You do not have to agree with Autism Speaks or me personally.  Your child may have servere behavior that drugs can mediate that would be life saving.  Do not feel put down when you have been advised of a choice by a provider that is qualified and choose a different path.  Not every one knows your story.

I plan to go into detail in my book about sensory issues and the world of pharmacy.  Also, I want to cover more drugs and possible uses in pharmacy. I will give you this.  I read recently that many drugs are used in the pediatric population off label. Why?  This make sense.  Few drugs are tested for the pediatric population. Drug use is a risk anytime.  I would say just be informed not scared.  

If another mother/father looks at you in horror because you didn't do all the Autism Speaks PDF told you to do, then look at them and say,"Thank you we can read too!" 

Autism Speaks, next time consider getting with a pharmacist when writing a medication guide.  Do not make it look like ever parent must look at medication is a last resort.  Some behaviors such as head banging warrent drugs before behavior intervention or right alongside it.  

INformation is what parents need not a how to must path on when meds are okay to use.

AMA AND OTHERS CAUTIONS “RETAIL CLNICS; BIG BAD WOLF!”

Let’s start with some of the arguments these groups put forward as reasons for concern in using a Retail Clinic!

• Ø Do not have access to all chart records.
• Ø Causes Fragmentation of care by adding another provider.
• Ø Staffed often by Physician Assistances or Nurse Practitioner
• Ø No patient follow up care.
• Ø Chronically ill are more complicated than clinics usually see.  (Note it doesn’t say can’t handle)
• Ø Question if have patient’s best interests at heart!

I looked in detail at five articles about these warnings.  The first covers the period around 2007.  Titled AMA Goes After Walmart Style Retail Clinics, it warns of the same concerns.  “Our primary focus is patient safety and patient care, and the retail clinics have a different mission of selling products and prescriptions,” said Dr. Rodney Osborn.  The AMA stance at that time was to lobby for increases regulations of these Retail Clinics.  Typically doctors often site regulations and dealing with insurance as an over regulated problem.

The other articles cover and aim at those clinics owned by CVS, Walgreen’s, Target and other groups. On Feb. 23, 2014 (my 52 birthday updated a statement disapproving of the Retail Clinics.  Again the list above covers their reasons for concern.

An article written in Aug. of 2012 shows these statistics.

• Ø Total visits go from 1.5 million (2007) to 6 million (2009)
• Ø The same study notes that there are 557 million visits to Doctors and 177 to ER’s
• Ø One significant change in demographics was that those over 65 were at 7.5% (2000 to 2006) and at 14.7 (2007 to 2009).
• Ø About 40% of the visits from 2007 to 2009 were for immunizations.

I now have a few questions and statements I think need to be considered.

• Ø How often can the people that visited a Retail Clinic did so because of lack of access to an appointment needed now?
• Ø How many ER’s have access to a patient’s health record or chart?
• Ø How many Pediatricians really know a patient and remember that child’s chart when called after hours?
• Ø How many Nurse Practitioners or PA’s are employed by Pediatricians or Doctors?
• Ø Is it really fair to say no access to follow up care?  I say this because many say to follow up with your family practitioner or come back to them if they do not have one!
• Ø If it is still true that most(almost half, 40%) go for immunizations, is this really a big issue?
• Ø What study said this are that?  Compare it to what is actually going on.
• Ø Should Pharmacists really be giving vaccinations when they are bogged down just filling prescriptions?
• Ø How many groups are going to have a formal relationship with your Pediatrician?
• Ø Is some of the disjoint and lack of communication the fault of the AMA for going after the Retail Clinics instead of really working with these groups to shore up the holes? Or, is this just about the bottom line?
• Ø How many people complain about not enough time with their doctor?

I would think again about what the AMA and AAP says about these clinics.  I would think also about getting prescriptions where pharmacists are doing a lot of vaccinations.  I am a pharmacist and will get plenty of feedback for this I am sure.

The bottom line is go to places that you feel comfortable.  I can personally vouch for a Nurse Practitioner owned clinic.   Excellent care is what my husband (also a pharmacist), my son and I get when we go there.  This does not stop me from having a family practice physician.  I have gone to this man since 1987 and will not go elsewhere  besides that NP owned clinic in Yukon, OK.  They do not compete but compliment each other.

Below are the 5 articles used to write this essay; along with my personal knowledge and opinion.

Ollamok AKA Sandra

http://www.amednews.com/article/20120827/business/308279963/7/                                    http://healthland.time.com/2014/02/23/pediatrics-group-advises-against-retail-based-clinics/           http://www.kevinmd.com/blog/2013/08/drug-store-retail-clinics-primary-care-fast.html http://consumerist.com/2007/06/27/american-medical-association-goes-after-walmart-style-retail-clinic /http://virtualmentor.ama-assn.org/2013/11/pdf/vm-1311.pdf

This is a work in progress about autism.  The perspective is from the real world view.

I want to hear from you what should go into a book from a real world perspective.

Also, I would appreciate letting me interview you.  I know you may think you are not a professional.

However, you may know more than you think.  Have you ever gotten rotten advice from professional

experts?   I am not here to bash all experts.  Yet, I want to hear from the people on the frontlines that

may often be overlooked.  By doing this, I feel we can have a better understanding that some fail to do so

by leaving stones unturned.

I need to let my readers know I might be changing my working business name to ARM, Autism

Resource Management.  Tell me what you think.  You may leave comments here or on my facebook page

at www.facebook.com/Tell.It.Once.4Autism.

Ah in autism,                                                                                                                                                                                       Ultimate expression,                                                                                                                                                                                  Whether being an Einstein physicist,                                                                                                                                                             Or equisite artist in self mode reflection!

Autism modes                                                                                                                                                                                                 have different codes!                                                                                                                                                                                     It can be art                                                                                                                                                                                                Or poet!

Most just don't get                                                                                                                                                                                         Or havea key!                                                                                                                                                                                       Uproar n plenty,                                                                                                                                                                                 Because of low affinity.

Most ignore                                                                                                                                                                                           Natures beauty                                                                                                                                                                                             unless in their preferred                                                                                                                                                                     Absolute form!

Open your eyes.                                                                                                                                                                                   Blessed thy                                                                                                                                                                                                   Will be                                                                                                                                                                                                         1000 fold from autism.

If you are the parent of a child with special needs are autism you will understand this story better than mosts.

Ever have a child on the spectrum have a melt down, normal need, or seemingly tantrum for no need drive you crazy?  I don't mean where you were going to do bodily harm to a child.  I mean where you felt you were a bad mother, worthless because you couldn't figure out how to help your child and more things like this.

I will give you one or two short examples.

My son is autistic, has Asperger's or High Functioning Autism.  Labels only meant something for me as a jumping point to reasearch how to help him the best I could. Otherwise, I really do hate labels; except when filing insurance claims and then I want as many labels as I can think of.

Tanner, my son, had a three hour meltdonw at fifteen months.  He cried, screamed and I think did some head banging if I am not mistaken on my recall. I did all the motherly things.  I tried to hold and comfort him.  Now I know routine is important to all kids but this goes beyond that.

I went outside to take a two minute deep breath.  Most likely this was much shorter but helped me recompose myself.  I was so out a lose as what to do for Tanner. I know he was miserable but everything I tried didn't work.

I need stories from mothers to put in my book.  I don't just want my stories. I want major stories of meltdowns to help young mothers.  Young couples have a rough time of it dealing with this.  I am sure it strains realtionships.  Help me help younger mothers, fathers and professionals by giving me your stories.

Get rich? My goal? Not really! It is going to cost me to get the book published. I am positive in my abilities but I may fail.  I want to, once I have reached costs back and a specific point...trust me....I want to do this..reach a point where 50% of my profits are given to charity of autism, special needs and such charities.

Back to my story.  Can you guess what he wanted? How it was resolved?  Well, Tanner finally figued it out by himself.  He went to the diswaher, at fifteen months, opened it and got his favorite cup out.  Autistics love routine, rituals and odd behaviors.

Think how much we can give to younger parents!  Give them a jump on the learning curve by sharing such stories.   Have an idea for an autism book you think should be covered? Email me at ollamok@aol.com  or post it on this facebook page   www.facebook.com/Tell.It.Once.4Autism. Comment on my blog.

Let me interview you for my book.  You have knowledge and expertise that is worth telling. Tell me so I can Tell It ONce and For Autism!

More examples will follow in other posts.

Please do not be put off by the poetry.  I put this in as a thought provoking exercise. Explore all the things that might affect autism.  Then after you read the poem go to the NIH Sites and get free publications that explain all the poem touches on. Autism, like cancer, has so many threads and variables it is impossible to find one specific cause.  That is why we must explore all threads.

Autism? Simple answers? No! Here is
Sandra’s try at an explanation.

Autism has good graces.
Visit upon us to bless upon.

Doesn’t mean one shouldn’t ask,
“Why? What? When? Where and how?”

God could have intended
You being intentioned in the unhinging of the process.

Vaccination’s that is the key!
Say many with adamation!

I agree for them it could be,
A factor, insult that hit on.

Pharmacist in me says, the study was too small to make it a hallmark.
Flip the coin, drug makers threw around money, plus shouted out!!

Next, a group says environment
Causes problems no doubt.

Environmental insult.
Yep, that is why my child is shut into autism.

Remember here, environmental can be
From chemicals & diseases stalking inside to make their stand.

From, things like maybe Grandpa’s Agent Orange,
To a baby’s hospital stay due to RSV!

May yet wave
The Genetics Flag.

Throw into this mix, I will; smaller families, often an only child
That insists to be totally plugged into away from others.

Oh, how simple it would be
One answer, if could only twas or could be.

Yet, still I want to pose
Older parents, sperms and eggs as a contribution variable.

Not a reason not to conceive!
But to be aware more defects, mutations with age do occur.

Can one really say,
One cause is for autism?

Look at cancer! Common threads
There, still many different scenarios.

Genetics predispose, environmental assaults,
Turns on gene with a society that is ripe in culture and age of parents?

Yet, it matters!
No, it doesn’t matter!

Sound so crazy?
Yes, to help. No because we love and deal with it no matter what!

We learn what can and must be done.
But better realize the blame game must stop.

One answer might be cause in 1% of cases ( just me thinking),
Reality is autism is complex.

Complex, autism really is!
Yet, then is simple too.

Reaching out is what I want to do.
Remember right answers lead to correct therapy n treatments!

Wrong guesses and blame may only
Lead to burying data and wrong wizardly haphazard disasters.

Science, true keeps an open mind!
God is the first and Ultimate Scientist.

Together are we able
To do and can do n be our best.

In some ways the riddle of autism
Is not to be solved!

God means us to be
Who we are as he made us!

Change is something
All of us must do.

Adapting to you and others
Is being kind.

Let us not get behind
Stay in the forefront.

Doing out best to unlock the riddle
As much in prayer; God intends us to do!

I am sure by helping
We learn God’s lessons.

Helping those with autism
I bet could be a society improvement, God intends us to do.

No answer complete do I have;
Except my son is a blessing some may say in disguise!
God we will accept your answers.
Thank you God! Amen!

This post will not be long.  First, let me give you this site url in case you choose to read no futher.  You can wander around and see what is important to you.

http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/autism-spectrum-disorders-pervasive-developmental-disorders/index.shtml#part8

This site is marvelous at giving basic information on autism.  There is a free "Parent's Guide to Autism Spectrum Disorder's."

On the site you will find headings listed below;

• What is Autism Spectrum Disorder?
• Causes
• Signs and Symptoms
• Who is At Risk
• Diagnosis
• Treatments
• Living With
• Clinical Trials

There are more publications, plus they are available in spanish.  

I hope this is helpful; my goal is to inform with correct information.  There is so much misinformation out there.

Go Check out the government information     

Words of Wisdom from Wanda Draper, 

"When you are at the end of your rope; tie a knot!"

"Mop Monster," came out when Mom wanted to clean the floors but had a 7 year old, 6 year old, 4 but almost year old, and 1 almost 2 year old around to deal with under foot.

The couch became a magnificent ocean going Sailing Vessel we might call the "Mallo."  It would have to put all the sails to the West or East. Then maybe to the North or South depending on the whim of the "Mop Monster."

The Mom Monster would occasionally rise up and step by step work its way up the "Mallo."  The spirit behind the "Mop Monster" was rutheless and fun.   It was out mother playing  with us.

She, Dorothy Mallo, had to clean the house and get all those little feet to stay in one place at a time.   This way by playing with them and thinking up the character of "Mop Monster," she accomplished house cleaning and play time all at once.  Not bad for a mother of 4 to do all in one day.

I can't rememeber how many times the tangles of the "Mop Monster" scared us on to have some of the best times of our lives.  Mom could think up many things like the "Mop Monster," to get what she needed done.  But what was nicest of all was she found ways to do them while spending time with her family.  That makes her an  Ace among mom's of all generations.

I challenge moms every where to do better than "Mop Monster!"

Disability doesn't have to be debilitating.   Disability only means finding a different approach or way around life's curves.   One must find a way to get to the end of the road by hopping, using a cane, wheelchair or being carried by God.

How many people without arms have learned to drive, paint, write or other with their feet?  Technolgy has made it

easier for us now more than ever before in history.  What is stopping you from going forward?  What is stopping you from helping

your son, daughter, grandaughter, student, or patient?  Do you make excuses for them?  Do you let the stagnate?  High

expectations will help them reach their full potential.

My husband and I have gone head to head on these questions over and over.  I tend to be the pusher and my

husband the "Disney Dad."  That is all well and good if you have a child that can reach his full potential through learning

from others.  A special needs child or differently abled child needs even sterner goals and directions in my opinon.

My son is an only child.  There are no close relatives that can monitor his progress or look in on him once his parents are gone.  He will be on his

own once my husband and I die.  My son has shown me over and over he is capable. Go and get a copy of Wanda

Draper's book, "YOUR CHILD IS SMARTER THAN YOU THINK!"  She is an internationally know Child Development

Specialist.

Expectations are what you will get from your children.  My son can wash his clothes, vacuum, unload the

diswasher, or baically any household chore.  When it comes to mowing the yard or other chore that deals with a male

oriented task ( my husband interfered on me showing him); my son, Tanner, is at a lose as how to proceed.

Do you know why my son can do the things I mentioned above?  I showed him how to do them.  You can do this too.

Now I will insert the story of an 85 year old premie child that wasn't supposed to be according to her doctor's when

she was born and through a few life events.  My mother, Dorothy Mallo, was born early before the fullterm of a

pregnancy.  One way to give you an idea of how small she was is to tell you they used my grandfather's hankerchiefs for

diapers because nothing else seemed to fit.  Dorothy was born with a club foot and the growth in one leg had to be

stopped because one leg had stopped growing.

Dorothy had many surgeies at the Shriner's Hospital's.  This meant spending a year away from home.  Dorothy

often had to walk to school on crutches.  Did it ever occur to her or her family she was disabled and completely debilitated?

Apparently not!

Dorothy went on to graduate from high school and then on to Secretary College (which now I understand would be

the equivalent of an Associates Degree).  Dorothy continued to work, marry, have four children and do many things

that any normal person did.

How come these issues didn't beat her down?  What did Dorothy do that many others would not?  What is the

formula for keeping your disabilites from making you debilitated?

Could it be attitude?  Your family support system?  I feel these are part of the answer.  I also know it has to do

with the times.  I think society makes more excuses for people with disabilites and has lowered expectations.  They give

the lowest of jobs to these kids on Individual Educational Plans sometiimes; and on Employee Plans with Voccational Rehab plans.

Remember Dorothy the next time you let your disability hold you back.  My mom has never let her disabilities stop

her from doing anything she wanted to do in life.  I hold her up as an example to many.

Honoring my mother here will help you with some original parenting tips; I promise.  Do you have an extremely difficult time getting your children from young ages to teens to do work around the house?  Have to justify to the younger ones why the older one's get more money?

My mother's system is full prove.  Mom gave us age appropriate tasks.  Here comes the trick.  Tell the kids, "Any money you find you can keep!"  This system serves as a tracking and monitoring system.  If your memory is lacking; write down where, how much money and the task assigned to each child.  If all the money is gone, then the child should have cleaned well.  You have to hide it good enough to get the results you want.  Design the task so it is fair for the child's ability.  We were motivated to do the chores for what ended up to be our allowance. Mom is quite an inventive lady.

Mom's of teens that are driving and have a curfewcurfew; want to know what time they come up but not sit up and wait on them?  Are you a light sleeper or at least you can wake up if a pop bottle is kicked over?Tricky mom used to put out two to three litter bottles of cokes right in the walking pathway of coming in the door.  You would have to kick them over in the dark.  The noise would wake mom up so she could look at the clock and deal with you the next morning.  You can bet she did deal with us if it was after curfew when we snuck in under cover of dark instead of on time turning the lights on.

Want a car game that everybody can play, even the driver?  This game is obscure in origins.  We grew up on it as we traveled all over the US and Canada.  Zip-Zip is what we called it.  The idea was to get as many horses as one could.  If you said zip-zip,it was a group of horses and you were first then those horses were yours.  A white horse counted as two.  If you ziped a cow you lost all your horses.  This may seem weird but wheever anybody saw a cementary the first to call out slppsky got everybody's horses.  You can divide the teams into front seat and back seat or boy's against the girls.  Better yet think of some way you want to divide teams your way.  It is competitive and funny.

I was the youngest in the family.  Often nobody wanted me to be on their team.  You guessed it; I zipped a lot of cows being eager to win.  One time I saw a mountain lion chained lying underneath a car.  Learning my lessons, I screamed, "Is that horse? Is that a horse daddy?"

My dad couldn't believe his eyes.  We stopped and talked with the owner.  I even got to pet it that day.  I have to admit that is a strange event.  I had never seen a mountain lion but I didn't loose my horses that day

Did you like my "Hand Me Down Tips From My Mom?"  I may make this an event giving more of her secrets.  Then again I might want to keep her wisdom to myself.  Lots of great stuff from my mom!

This can be seen on my blogs too but was posted here on Bloggy Mom's first!