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Pushing Begins in Labor and Continues Through Life

Today is the day after my son turned 18 years old.  Reflecting back, I realize when they told me to push during labor, that was the begining of a continual process.   Whether your child has special needs or is quote "normal," it is a parental job to push children beyond their comfort zone.

Sometimes I have felt guilty for being "General Mommy or Sergeant Mommy;" so nicknamed by dad, my husband Bill.

Tanner was not an easy baby.  He had troubles eating from the start.  He through up and would be considered a colic baby.  Working with doctors and listening to the expereince of my mom(mother of four) resulted in putting rice in each bottle to help decrease the throwing up and weight gain proceeded.

At the age of six months, Tanner landed in the hospital for RSV (Respiratory Syncytial Virus).  Funny now but not at the time my sister recalls that I was not making sense and thought I was kidding when I called her to tell her  You see I was a nervous parent going from the doctor's office straight to the hospital and told her he had RSVP virus.

The hospital stay was almost a week.  It may have been worse for my husband and I to endure than Tanner.  Seeing your child in an oxygen tent and having tests ran in a haze of a short time is traumatic.  Then they tell you to move because you are in the way! Parental rights show up in your eyes resulting in a "Please" being spit out immediately and apoligetically.  He came along fine after about three months of nebulizer treatments, beating on the chest with a suction cup to break up secrestions and being on/off antibiotics.

Tanner was sick off and on quite often.  It seems I can remember all of his early holidays being sick.  My sister, that dresses very professionly all the time, was thrown up on and her car when she took him to the doctor for me right before his first Christmas.  That was one of the first holidays he was sick on.

Tanner weighted 17 pounds at one year old. Both my husband I worried about him.  He didn't or wouldn't eat well sometimes.  He stayed on his formula until he was about two years old or a bit older.  He refused milk.

At thirteen months if was obvious we were dealing with more than one could understand. My husband moved a toy or his cup about an inch or two.  He came back running to move it back to the exact position.  I new then and along with some other things observed there was something "wrong" or not quite right.

I am telling you all this for a reason.  This made it hard to make hard choices when he was older.  Worring about his health and weight gain, we let him start eating an unhealthy diet.  This wasn't at the time but it developed into a stance later on.  This also made being hard on him extremely trying.

Thus, began the parental divide on how to parent.  How do you face the something "wrong" or not normal along with health concerns?  I realized that at a certain point I couldn't go the path of least reistance.  Everyone had advise but I read while seaching for the reasons.  Family said not to worry and my husband appeard to me to like "denial."

Then and there I decided a proactive approach was best.  I proceeded to get Tanner into Preschool at age three.  I pushed for extra therapies like, speech and music.  I enrolled him in Kindermusic because of the benefits I had read about music in special needs and other areas of life.  One of his first sentences he said was sung back to me.   On our way to music class I sung to him, "Now it is time for music, music, music."  He was restless and sung back, "Now it's time for Grandma's, Grandma's!"  I was proud.  He had talked some but not like that.

The school said to make picture books and have him say what the picture was.  I made a jillion picture books.  Tanner would have to say his ABC's as I wrote them in the dirt at the park before he could swing.  Later he would have to write them.

I made 26 pages of huge ABC's on letter size paper.  Sensory issues were present and I read about trying differnt tactile approaches.  I cut out Sandpaper ABC's.  I found the experts that I thought could help me with advancing my son's chances of a better life.  I used the program "Handwriting Without Tears," to help him with writing.  This was on top of what the school was doing for him and the extra therapies I could afford like Speech and Occupational Therapy.

Do you see the pushing going on?  This continues for 18 years.  Tanner has autism so pushing can be a delicate balance.  I have him volunteering to gain job skills.  Do or did I feel guilty for being "A hard A$$?"  Sometimes!

Yet, let us ask the questions of what might have happened if I had given up?  Believed those provider's that were foolish to advise me to put my son in an institution?  Gone the path of least reisistance?  I doubt my son would be where he is today.   This has meant many battles in my marriage and in parenting my son with my husband.

Sometimes those with autism have problems with hygeine.  Tanner doesn't like his hair cut or wash it well all the time either.  I have wrestled with this for years. His counselor said to do one thing and my therapist disagrees.

This means another "Big PUSH" to help him into adulthood.  The ultimatum will be to keep his hair clean with two warnings, with the third resulting in a BUZZ CUT!  I have said this before.  Yes, I am human.  I don't follow through on everything. Parenting cam be DEMANDING.  Fights on how to parent wear you out.  However, this time I have the resolve to do it.

Thus, remember from the start of labor and delivery of your child when they tell you to "PUSH" it means for life not only during birth!

http://www.autismdailynewscast.com/transition-parents-can-make-it-happen/13169/guest/

A child with autism, a mother of age and life in general can be enough to mke one pause. Throw a car wreck in that leaves you disabled but able to do somethings without enough to go back to work; leaves you in a real pickle.

The general explantion of situation will be the hands of time. on the clock piece.  I want yout to get the analogy of this Clockmaster situation.

I will have to go back to my childhood.  Growing up I thought my parents were not the best.  We were not the poorest and not the richest.  All of us kids had to work.  Our house was a little less than nice until our parents had the money to do it.  My mother had to work to make ends meet.  This doesn't say I never lacked for love or didn't love my parents.

My best friend was in the same boat.  Sometimes embarressed to have friends over for having holes in the carpet. Let me make this clear; we were maybe lower middle class that grew into upper middle class.  Our parents busted their backs and _______ to make sure we (my older sister and two older brothers) had it much easier than they did.  Thus, we all learned the value of money and how to work for what extra's we wanted and needed.

Even though my parents were not rich they managed to take us on a vacation every summer. This meant seeing the Grand Canyon, Yellowstone and much much more.  We camped and made sandwiches instead of hotels and restaurants.  Our parents, George Tanner and Dorothy Louise Mallo even made games out of things. They spent plenty of time of which most was quality time.

Here is where it gets better.  When we grew into the upper wealth classes, our parents gave us more.  They bought us our first car, abiet used but we didn't care.  They even bought gas and paid for insurance during the year. They had us groomed for college.        Heck we never knew we had a choice of not going.

Looking back they taught us how to be parents.  Did they make mistakes?  A few.  People are not perfect.  However, I doubt you could find two people that tried harder to do their best at raising children.  One thing my father told me that raising us was one of the parts of his life.  I understand this now that I have a child. He confessed it was hard along with on of the scariest times in his life too.

My bothers and sisters were older than me.  In some respects I was a bit like an only child.  This may sound odd but my Dad actually bought me a HOT HOT ROD.  The car was a 70 Torino. It had a 302 engine with a Holly 4 barrel, a racing kam, spagetti side pipes, Kreger Mags and much more.  My brother came back from being in the Navy for a visit and couldn't believe it.

I asked my Dad why he bought this for me.  He replied that this would give me something to talk to the boys about.  He said I would be less likely to end up in the back seat or get pregnant.  I thought about it thinking how sneaking wise my Dad had been.  He did pretty well for a man that lost his Dad at age ten and mother at seventeen.

Now talk about mom. Boy did she have a few tricks up her sleeves. She told us that we could keep whatever money we found during cleanup chores.  She left money around, about what we should earn for an allowance, directing age appropriate tasks to where the money had been placed.  She knew how well we had cleaned by how much money was or wasn't left.

Now for curfew and resrtiction violations.  My sister told me that when we had grown up trying to sneak in mom had placed three litter coke bottles in our path to wake her up so she could check the time.  Then in the morning she would confront us about what time we came in and see if we told the truth.  Mom had a few other tricks up her sleeve.

I am backing up but have to tell you of a travel came passed to us from my Aunt Gladys on the Mallo side.  We called it Zip Zip.  Basically, you played to get all the horses you could.  If you saw a horse you said Zip.  If you saw a group...Zip Zip before others got the group. A white horse counted as two.  If you zipped a cow, donkey, pig or other animal you all your horses.  To get all the other teams horses when you came to a cementary you called Slopsky.  My dad had an unfair advantage as he had travled more and knew where the cementaries were.

Needless to say, being the youngest, I did plenty of wrong Zip Ziping.  Being picked last in your own family is unpleasant.  Mom and Dad came to my rescue often.  Thus, parents feel the pain of all their children and act accordingly to sooth over it. Yet, there were plenty of times my parents made me suffer the pain of growing up.  Why? To prepare me for the what was to come as an adult.

A funny story about the Zip Zip came and a legend in our family.  I kept asking "Is that a horse. Is that a horse?"  My Dad and Mom couldn't believe their eyes.  Dad pulled over and sure enough it was a Mountain Lion chained to the bumper of a station wagon.  That was in the sixties, about 65 or 66.  The owner worked construction.  All of kids got to pet it.  That wouldn't happen in today's society.  However, I wasn't the cause of loosing horses to the other team that day.

Are you getting the feel for family time spent together?  My mom was the glue that held us together.  My dad was a Seargeant and the hard driving force behind making us do. Mom was the soft approach. Both are needed to balance out the other.  God blessing's come in two parent's in a family. One gets relief when worn out on the job and the children get a breather from the hard driving parent. Blessings come from God knowing what we need at each time and stage of life.

Okay, I blended some of the early 1 and 2 O'clock periods of life in the hands of time together.  Please forgive me while I am trying to tell you all about how this goes together.

3 and 4 O'clock come after highschool during college while getting my BS in Pharmacy.  Growing up occured quite a lot during this time.  I worked every weekend and kept grades up.  Graduation came and after a year I bought my own house. Dad was pro mom was con.  During college my friends that didn't go to college got married.  I had proposals but not out of real love. Dad kept me grounded and mom provided emotional support.

These periods helped me define my needs, wants and desires.  I have to admit I lacked in setting boundaries.  Please if you have this issue get some help or read some books on this situation before burn out and explode.

5 and 6 post college.  Graduation was long waited for but never did I as many realize that college would be looked back on as one of the best times in life.  God guides you all of your life and prepares you for each step to come.  Even when you stray you learn.

Started dating husband or future at that time.  We dated nine years before we married.  It is about this time that my relationship with my mom started to breakdown a little.  Mom was so noisy about what when where and how I was doing it seemed she never gave me a breather.  There is more but it is petty. She didn't know she was doing this.  You see she was still learning how to be a mother to an adult child.  Never the less taking some communication classes never hurt.

This goes back to boundaries.  You don't owe people explantions.  Proverbs 29:11 KJV

11 A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards.

This goes against tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Thus, wisdom must be sought and learned.  Reading the Bible and askng God for help is a great way.  Here is where I owe my mom for exposing me to Christian teachings early in life.

7 O'clock. Marriage is an adjustment no matter what you think. Children even more.  Then if you have a child with special needs, special abilities and is a blessing that teaches you many things.  I thought I was prepared for a child. I was an older mom. We waited until we had been married over a year.  We were money okay.  Both of us were Christians.  I don't want to go into all the challenges but just say it hit us hard in our marriage. Frustrations was at the base of the blame game.  This took a hit on our marriage.

However, these things made us stronger.  If you want to do yourself a favor, quit doubting your parenting so much.  Mistakes will be made.  As long as you try and earnestly want to do your best, ask God for help; I'm sure all is okay.  Another big favor you can do is buy the book by Wanda Draper, "Your Child Is Smarter Than Think!"  She reasures parents that they are fine and their children are not stupid.  It helped me and I know God hooked me up with the information. Trust me I asked for her information at an appointment and I got her cell phone number.  Wanda is an internationally known child developmental specialist. She writes on a level that all can understand but gives great common sense advise.  Spectacular book.

I promise you I can't go into all the situations that rule out chance that God is acting in my life.  He is the Clock Master of time in your life in mine.  If you trust him he will guide you.  He gave me the parents I needed and now I know he gave my son the two parents he needed and it is a blessing.   My husband counters my harshness learned from being brought up military. I will not apoligize for being a pusher. My son wouldn't be this far along if I handn't pushed. However, Bill, my husband is a blessing of a counter weight to even out my rought edges.

8 O'clock. I panic about having my son prepared for life. He is an only child and being special needs; I don't want him lost after we his parents die.   There is no real close relatives to be his guardian if needed.  Therefore, I want him to be as functional as possible.

Well, my idea was to contact the historical socity and see if there was a fit for a volunteer position.  I thought there would be less stress on social interaction on one side and then on giving tours more social interaction.  Long story of how I thought it would fit but now know God directed.  He will start out scanning and work up to digitization. Some have worked this into a job.  They have worked with autistics before.

My son interviewd with one person, the head of volunteers, and then when the person came down man came down that my son would be working with or under; I overheard one tell the other my son "has appropriate conversation skills!"  Made my day.  I knew then that I need to refresh my relationship with God, The Clockmaster of time.  God has a plan and reason for all that happens.

     Proverbs 16:9

     New King James Version (NKJV)

     9 A man’s heart plans his way, But the Lord directs his steps.

The rest of time is still going on.  I hope you see how parents, mom's and dad's impact you on mothering on Mother's Day.  Hoping you have gleaned some insight from my post that I have learned in life.

One thing I do not want you to do is pity me for having an autistic or special needs child.  He has heaped too many blessings on my life to regret having him.  He teaches me to enjoy life and relax.  Better yet he has helped me to understand myself and enjoy life.

Happy Mother's day. Don't forget step parents when step should not be in the word of parent.  A mother is not just one that gives birth. A mother is one that takes a child through life and the teachings of all steps of life.  I prefer to say in the Christian manner but understand if you disagree.  I will uphold your right to believe as you want.  But, never forget the impact your parents have in your life and be grateful for it.

Sandra Adcock

*****Link below is the link to Autism Speaks Medication Guide -----Which I give a C in my books. 

Page on autismspeaks.org

First, let's start with the name, "Autism and Medication: Safe and Careful use."  The guide gets away from "Medication Use," and into when medication should be used.  This is a parent decision. It may belong in a PDF Titled, "Medication to use or not to use!"  The decicion to use has nothing to do with a PDF titled "Safe and Careful use."

Second, after the decision to use medication has been made; it is not Autism Speaks duty to caution once again that medication should be a last ditch effort.  I agree medication are for me the last choice but have used them at a time in my son's life when it was appropriate.  That is more of a decision left between doctor and parent.  I do not want to imply that because I think usually medication in autism should be considere last; that a parent that chooses otherwise is wrong. Autism speaks should not imply this either.  

Third, the list of medications is not exaustive enough.  I will list Low Dose Naltrexeone Therapy. Here are two things you can read about it.  I am not advocating it or saying not to choose it.  I simply present it here as one choice that is unlisted in the PDF of Autism Speaks.

*****Page on lowdosenaltrexone.org

*****Low Dose Naltrexone for Autism

Fourth, there is no interview with a pharmacist as a specialist.  Why is this?  It says talk to your doctor or nurse.  Check with pharmacist for more information.  Why not talk to one when putting together this information?

Fifth,  Autism Speaks talks about teaching the child to swallow and how to reward the child/kid for doing so.  What is wrong with them?  Have they never heard of sensory issues?  Some places change the flavors for these reasons.   When is it better to ask for a chewable tablet that can be put in a specific medium?  Ever heard of plugging a capsule?  It would mask the taste and make it easer to swallow.

I wish I had time to go into all the reasons and what "plugging a capsule," is.   My point is this PDF as a tool kit is biased.  Doesn't take into consideration autistics personal sensory issues and more. It is lacking in basic autism reasoning.  Futhermore, there needs to be more information on various drugs covered.

This information is not intended to be about replacing or telling you what to do.  As with all medical decesions, check with your providers before doing anything. I am not responsible for your lack of research in treating your son/daughter.  I only wish to inform you if you use this tool it is one sided and you need more information.

You are not a bad person if you choose drugs before other therapies. You do not have to agree with Autism Speaks or me personally.  Your child may have servere behavior that drugs can mediate that would be life saving.  Do not feel put down when you have been advised of a choice by a provider that is qualified and choose a different path.  Not every one knows your story.

I plan to go into detail in my book about sensory issues and the world of pharmacy.  Also, I want to cover more drugs and possible uses in pharmacy. I will give you this.  I read recently that many drugs are used in the pediatric population off label. Why?  This make sense.  Few drugs are tested for the pediatric population. Drug use is a risk anytime.  I would say just be informed not scared.  

If another mother/father looks at you in horror because you didn't do all the Autism Speaks PDF told you to do, then look at them and say,"Thank you we can read too!" 

Autism Speaks, next time consider getting with a pharmacist when writing a medication guide.  Do not make it look like ever parent must look at medication is a last resort.  Some behaviors such as head banging warrent drugs before behavior intervention or right alongside it.  

INformation is what parents need not a how to must path on when meds are okay to use.

AMA AND OTHERS CAUTIONS “RETAIL CLNICS; BIG BAD WOLF!”

Let’s start with some of the arguments these groups put forward as reasons for concern in using a Retail Clinic!

• Ø Do not have access to all chart records.
• Ø Causes Fragmentation of care by adding another provider.
• Ø Staffed often by Physician Assistances or Nurse Practitioner
• Ø No patient follow up care.
• Ø Chronically ill are more complicated than clinics usually see.  (Note it doesn’t say can’t handle)
• Ø Question if have patient’s best interests at heart!

I looked in detail at five articles about these warnings.  The first covers the period around 2007.  Titled AMA Goes After Walmart Style Retail Clinics, it warns of the same concerns.  “Our primary focus is patient safety and patient care, and the retail clinics have a different mission of selling products and prescriptions,” said Dr. Rodney Osborn.  The AMA stance at that time was to lobby for increases regulations of these Retail Clinics.  Typically doctors often site regulations and dealing with insurance as an over regulated problem.

The other articles cover and aim at those clinics owned by CVS, Walgreen’s, Target and other groups. On Feb. 23, 2014 (my 52 birthday updated a statement disapproving of the Retail Clinics.  Again the list above covers their reasons for concern.

An article written in Aug. of 2012 shows these statistics.

• Ø Total visits go from 1.5 million (2007) to 6 million (2009)
• Ø The same study notes that there are 557 million visits to Doctors and 177 to ER’s
• Ø One significant change in demographics was that those over 65 were at 7.5% (2000 to 2006) and at 14.7 (2007 to 2009).
• Ø About 40% of the visits from 2007 to 2009 were for immunizations.

I now have a few questions and statements I think need to be considered.

• Ø How often can the people that visited a Retail Clinic did so because of lack of access to an appointment needed now?
• Ø How many ER’s have access to a patient’s health record or chart?
• Ø How many Pediatricians really know a patient and remember that child’s chart when called after hours?
• Ø How many Nurse Practitioners or PA’s are employed by Pediatricians or Doctors?
• Ø Is it really fair to say no access to follow up care?  I say this because many say to follow up with your family practitioner or come back to them if they do not have one!
• Ø If it is still true that most(almost half, 40%) go for immunizations, is this really a big issue?
• Ø What study said this are that?  Compare it to what is actually going on.
• Ø Should Pharmacists really be giving vaccinations when they are bogged down just filling prescriptions?
• Ø How many groups are going to have a formal relationship with your Pediatrician?
• Ø Is some of the disjoint and lack of communication the fault of the AMA for going after the Retail Clinics instead of really working with these groups to shore up the holes? Or, is this just about the bottom line?
• Ø How many people complain about not enough time with their doctor?

I would think again about what the AMA and AAP says about these clinics.  I would think also about getting prescriptions where pharmacists are doing a lot of vaccinations.  I am a pharmacist and will get plenty of feedback for this I am sure.

The bottom line is go to places that you feel comfortable.  I can personally vouch for a Nurse Practitioner owned clinic.   Excellent care is what my husband (also a pharmacist), my son and I get when we go there.  This does not stop me from having a family practice physician.  I have gone to this man since 1987 and will not go elsewhere  besides that NP owned clinic in Yukon, OK.  They do not compete but compliment each other.

Below are the 5 articles used to write this essay; along with my personal knowledge and opinion.

Ollamok AKA Sandra

http://www.amednews.com/article/20120827/business/308279963/7/                                    http://healthland.time.com/2014/02/23/pediatrics-group-advises-against-retail-based-clinics/           http://www.kevinmd.com/blog/2013/08/drug-store-retail-clinics-primary-care-fast.html http://consumerist.com/2007/06/27/american-medical-association-goes-after-walmart-style-retail-clinic /http://virtualmentor.ama-assn.org/2013/11/pdf/vm-1311.pdf

This is a work in progress about autism.  The perspective is from the real world view.

I want to hear from you what should go into a book from a real world perspective.

Also, I would appreciate letting me interview you.  I know you may think you are not a professional.

However, you may know more than you think.  Have you ever gotten rotten advice from professional

experts?   I am not here to bash all experts.  Yet, I want to hear from the people on the frontlines that

may often be overlooked.  By doing this, I feel we can have a better understanding that some fail to do so

by leaving stones unturned.

I need to let my readers know I might be changing my working business name to ARM, Autism

Resource Management.  Tell me what you think.  You may leave comments here or on my facebook page

at www.facebook.com/Tell.It.Once.4Autism.

Ah in autism,                                                                                                                                                                                       Ultimate expression,                                                                                                                                                                                  Whether being an Einstein physicist,                                                                                                                                                             Or equisite artist in self mode reflection!

Autism modes                                                                                                                                                                                                 have different codes!                                                                                                                                                                                     It can be art                                                                                                                                                                                                Or poet!

Most just don't get                                                                                                                                                                                         Or havea key!                                                                                                                                                                                       Uproar n plenty,                                                                                                                                                                                 Because of low affinity.

Most ignore                                                                                                                                                                                           Natures beauty                                                                                                                                                                                             unless in their preferred                                                                                                                                                                     Absolute form!

Open your eyes.                                                                                                                                                                                   Blessed thy                                                                                                                                                                                                   Will be                                                                                                                                                                                                         1000 fold from autism.

If you are the parent of a child with special needs are autism you will understand this story better than mosts.

Ever have a child on the spectrum have a melt down, normal need, or seemingly tantrum for no need drive you crazy?  I don't mean where you were going to do bodily harm to a child.  I mean where you felt you were a bad mother, worthless because you couldn't figure out how to help your child and more things like this.

I will give you one or two short examples.

My son is autistic, has Asperger's or High Functioning Autism.  Labels only meant something for me as a jumping point to reasearch how to help him the best I could. Otherwise, I really do hate labels; except when filing insurance claims and then I want as many labels as I can think of.

Tanner, my son, had a three hour meltdonw at fifteen months.  He cried, screamed and I think did some head banging if I am not mistaken on my recall. I did all the motherly things.  I tried to hold and comfort him.  Now I know routine is important to all kids but this goes beyond that.

I went outside to take a two minute deep breath.  Most likely this was much shorter but helped me recompose myself.  I was so out a lose as what to do for Tanner. I know he was miserable but everything I tried didn't work.

I need stories from mothers to put in my book.  I don't just want my stories. I want major stories of meltdowns to help young mothers.  Young couples have a rough time of it dealing with this.  I am sure it strains realtionships.  Help me help younger mothers, fathers and professionals by giving me your stories.

Get rich? My goal? Not really! It is going to cost me to get the book published. I am positive in my abilities but I may fail.  I want to, once I have reached costs back and a specific point...trust me....I want to do this..reach a point where 50% of my profits are given to charity of autism, special needs and such charities.

Back to my story.  Can you guess what he wanted? How it was resolved?  Well, Tanner finally figued it out by himself.  He went to the diswaher, at fifteen months, opened it and got his favorite cup out.  Autistics love routine, rituals and odd behaviors.

Think how much we can give to younger parents!  Give them a jump on the learning curve by sharing such stories.   Have an idea for an autism book you think should be covered? Email me at ollamok@aol.com  or post it on this facebook page   www.facebook.com/Tell.It.Once.4Autism. Comment on my blog.

Let me interview you for my book.  You have knowledge and expertise that is worth telling. Tell me so I can Tell It ONce and For Autism!

More examples will follow in other posts.

Please do not be put off by the poetry.  I put this in as a thought provoking exercise. Explore all the things that might affect autism.  Then after you read the poem go to the NIH Sites and get free publications that explain all the poem touches on. Autism, like cancer, has so many threads and variables it is impossible to find one specific cause.  That is why we must explore all threads.

Autism? Simple answers? No! Here is
Sandra’s try at an explanation.

Autism has good graces.
Visit upon us to bless upon.

Doesn’t mean one shouldn’t ask,
“Why? What? When? Where and how?”

God could have intended
You being intentioned in the unhinging of the process.

Vaccination’s that is the key!
Say many with adamation!

I agree for them it could be,
A factor, insult that hit on.

Pharmacist in me says, the study was too small to make it a hallmark.
Flip the coin, drug makers threw around money, plus shouted out!!

Next, a group says environment
Causes problems no doubt.

Environmental insult.
Yep, that is why my child is shut into autism.

Remember here, environmental can be
From chemicals & diseases stalking inside to make their stand.

From, things like maybe Grandpa’s Agent Orange,
To a baby’s hospital stay due to RSV!

May yet wave
The Genetics Flag.

Throw into this mix, I will; smaller families, often an only child
That insists to be totally plugged into away from others.

Oh, how simple it would be
One answer, if could only twas or could be.

Yet, still I want to pose
Older parents, sperms and eggs as a contribution variable.

Not a reason not to conceive!
But to be aware more defects, mutations with age do occur.

Can one really say,
One cause is for autism?

Look at cancer! Common threads
There, still many different scenarios.

Genetics predispose, environmental assaults,
Turns on gene with a society that is ripe in culture and age of parents?

Yet, it matters!
No, it doesn’t matter!

Sound so crazy?
Yes, to help. No because we love and deal with it no matter what!

We learn what can and must be done.
But better realize the blame game must stop.

One answer might be cause in 1% of cases ( just me thinking),
Reality is autism is complex.

Complex, autism really is!
Yet, then is simple too.

Reaching out is what I want to do.
Remember right answers lead to correct therapy n treatments!

Wrong guesses and blame may only
Lead to burying data and wrong wizardly haphazard disasters.

Science, true keeps an open mind!
God is the first and Ultimate Scientist.

Together are we able
To do and can do n be our best.

In some ways the riddle of autism
Is not to be solved!

God means us to be
Who we are as he made us!

Change is something
All of us must do.

Adapting to you and others
Is being kind.

Let us not get behind
Stay in the forefront.

Doing out best to unlock the riddle
As much in prayer; God intends us to do!

I am sure by helping
We learn God’s lessons.

Helping those with autism
I bet could be a society improvement, God intends us to do.

No answer complete do I have;
Except my son is a blessing some may say in disguise!
God we will accept your answers.
Thank you God! Amen!

This post will not be long.  First, let me give you this site url in case you choose to read no futher.  You can wander around and see what is important to you.

http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/autism-spectrum-disorders-pervasive-developmental-disorders/index.shtml#part8

This site is marvelous at giving basic information on autism.  There is a free "Parent's Guide to Autism Spectrum Disorder's."

On the site you will find headings listed below;

• What is Autism Spectrum Disorder?
• Causes
• Signs and Symptoms
• Who is At Risk
• Diagnosis
• Treatments
• Living With
• Clinical Trials

There are more publications, plus they are available in spanish.  

I hope this is helpful; my goal is to inform with correct information.  There is so much misinformation out there.

Go Check out the government information     

Disability doesn't have to be debilitating.   Disability only means finding a different approach or way around life's curves.   One must find a way to get to the end of the road by hopping, using a cane, wheelchair or being carried by God.

How many people without arms have learned to drive, paint, write or other with their feet?  Technolgy has made it

easier for us now more than ever before in history.  What is stopping you from going forward?  What is stopping you from helping

your son, daughter, grandaughter, student, or patient?  Do you make excuses for them?  Do you let the stagnate?  High

expectations will help them reach their full potential.

My husband and I have gone head to head on these questions over and over.  I tend to be the pusher and my

husband the "Disney Dad."  That is all well and good if you have a child that can reach his full potential through learning

from others.  A special needs child or differently abled child needs even sterner goals and directions in my opinon.

My son is an only child.  There are no close relatives that can monitor his progress or look in on him once his parents are gone.  He will be on his

own once my husband and I die.  My son has shown me over and over he is capable. Go and get a copy of Wanda

Draper's book, "YOUR CHILD IS SMARTER THAN YOU THINK!"  She is an internationally know Child Development

Specialist.

Expectations are what you will get from your children.  My son can wash his clothes, vacuum, unload the

diswasher, or baically any household chore.  When it comes to mowing the yard or other chore that deals with a male

oriented task ( my husband interfered on me showing him); my son, Tanner, is at a lose as how to proceed.

Do you know why my son can do the things I mentioned above?  I showed him how to do them.  You can do this too.

Now I will insert the story of an 85 year old premie child that wasn't supposed to be according to her doctor's when

she was born and through a few life events.  My mother, Dorothy Mallo, was born early before the fullterm of a

pregnancy.  One way to give you an idea of how small she was is to tell you they used my grandfather's hankerchiefs for

diapers because nothing else seemed to fit.  Dorothy was born with a club foot and the growth in one leg had to be

stopped because one leg had stopped growing.

Dorothy had many surgeies at the Shriner's Hospital's.  This meant spending a year away from home.  Dorothy

often had to walk to school on crutches.  Did it ever occur to her or her family she was disabled and completely debilitated?

Apparently not!

Dorothy went on to graduate from high school and then on to Secretary College (which now I understand would be

the equivalent of an Associates Degree).  Dorothy continued to work, marry, have four children and do many things

that any normal person did.

How come these issues didn't beat her down?  What did Dorothy do that many others would not?  What is the

formula for keeping your disabilites from making you debilitated?

Could it be attitude?  Your family support system?  I feel these are part of the answer.  I also know it has to do

with the times.  I think society makes more excuses for people with disabilites and has lowered expectations.  They give

the lowest of jobs to these kids on Individual Educational Plans sometiimes; and on Employee Plans with Voccational Rehab plans.

Remember Dorothy the next time you let your disability hold you back.  My mom has never let her disabilities stop

her from doing anything she wanted to do in life.  I hold her up as an example to many.

Disability doesn't have to be debilitating.   Disability only means finding a different approach or way around life's curves.   One must find a way to get to the end of the road by hopping, using a cane, wheelchair or being carried by God.

How many people without arms have learned to drive, paint, write or other with their feet?  Technolgy has made it

easier for us now more than ever before in history.  What is stopping you from going forward?  What is stopping you from helping

your son, daughter, grandaughter, student, or patient?  Do you make excuses for them?  Do you let the stagnate?  High

expectations will help them reach their full potential.

My husband and I have gone head to head on these questions over and over.  I tend to be the pusher and my

husband the "Disney Dad."  That is all well and good if you have a child that can reach his full potential through learning

from others.  A special needs child or differently abled child needs even sterner goals and directions in my opinon.

My son is an only child.  There are no close relatives that can monitor his progress or look in on him once his parents are gone.  He will be on his

own once my husband and I die.  My son has shown me over and over he is capable. Go and get a copy of Wanda

Draper's book, "YOUR CHILD IS SMARTER THAN YOU THINK!"  She is an internationally know Child Development

Specialist.

Expectations are what you will get from your children.  My son can wash his clothes, vacuum, unload the

diswasher, or baically any household chore.  When it comes to mowing the yard or other chore that deals with a male

oriented task ( my husband interfered on me showing him); my son, Tanner, is at a lose as how to proceed.

Do you know why my son can do the things I mentioned above?  I showed him how to do them.  You can do this too.

Now I will insert the story of an 85 year old premie child that wasn't supposed to be according to her doctor's when

she was born and through a few life events.  My mother, Dorothy Mallo, was born early before the fullterm of a

pregnancy.  One way to give you an idea of how small she was is to tell you they used my grandfather's hankerchiefs for

diapers because nothing else seemed to fit.  Dorothy was born with a club foot and the growth in one leg had to be

stopped because one leg had stopped growing.

Dorothy had many surgeies at the Shriner's Hospital's.  This meant spending a year away from home.  Dorothy

often had to walk to school on crutches.  Did it ever occur to her or her family she was disabled and completely debilitated?

Apparently not!

Dorothy went on to graduate from high school and then on to Secretary College (which now I understand would be

the equivalent of an Associates Degree).  Dorothy continued to work, marry, have four children and do many things

that any normal person did.

How come these issues didn't beat her down?  What did Dorothy do that many others would not?  What is the

formula for keeping your disabilites from making you debilitated?

Could it be attitude?  Your family support system?  I feel these are part of the answer.  I also know it has to do

with the times.  I think society makes more excuses for people with disabilites and has lowered expectations.  They give

the lowest of jobs to these kids on Individual Educational Plans sometiimes; and on Employee Plans with Voccational Rehab plans.

Remember Dorothy the next time you let your disability hold you back.  My mom has never let her disabilities stop

her from doing anything she wanted to do in life.  I hold her up as an example to many.

*****This is the first appearance of this Blog Post in any medium. If you see it reposted....It was posted here @ Bloggy moms.com first.

Are you the Asshole Marie describes in her book?  The type of person that makes raising a child with blindness, autism, both, other disability and/or multiple disabilities worse?  "I am just writing truths and opinions about my life, my own experience , and my own feelings concerning caring for my own son." States Marie Duke in Autism and Assholes the book she wrote.

While the title seemed extreme to me at first; after reading the book I agree the title fits her walk in the realm of disability child rearing/raising. A reader that wants to read a story on heroism, is a newbie parent to the realm of disability child rearing and people involved in providing services to children with disabilities might want to consider this to be put on the top of their reading list.

I haven't excused the general public yet.  People that want a peek to see what it is on the inside of this world should read it before they stick their nose in other's business.    "You should put him in a home," is a sentence Marie heard.  I also as a mother of a child with autism heard this very same sentence spoken to me be by experts.

One child developmental specialist Wanda Draper, that has a redo of her book, "Your Child is Smarter Than You Think," was the only one to say anything about the importance of the parents.  She remains positive about the children.

Autism and Assholes is $11.99 in paper pack at Amazon and the Kindle is $6.99.   The ISBN is 149215887 and the ASIN is BOOEKRNW7.

I consider this a must read to gain insight into how little people understand the real world of disabilities.  How dare some tell us to put our children in a home so early in life.  This proved to be wrong for Marie and me.

A heart wrenching story that will give you the understanding she deserves.  You may take offense at the title but after reading it, I promise you will want to call her up and offer a heartfelt apology.

This isn't the normal book review.  I don't want to take away from the story.  I mainly wanted to explain and tell you why to read the book.  Marie in my opinion was too nice to the people that provided services to her son.

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=autism%20and%20assholes&sprefix=autis%2Caps&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Aautism%20and%20assholes

I haven’t read this yet. I have read the original and loved it. 

Wanda Draper Ph.D, is the professional woman that inspired me to write a book to help other in the target audience of special needs or autism. Her book, “Your Child Is Smarter Than You Think,” that is being rereleased or is already now; gave me back my gumption and confidence as a parent. I knew my little one was hiding his secret true intelligence.  Confirmation came recently from a Microsoft Grade Readability Calculator, showing eleventh grade sixth month level. There is some error no doubt; but he is  afraid to show his true talents because of anxiety. Wanda is right!

I am sure this book will be an A+ addition. When I get my copy I will let everyone know. By the way Amazon says they are taking orders but if you want a copy, I can help you with this. The author has copies available or they are available through the author.

Below is what Amazon has to say about the book

“Your Child Is Smarter Than You Think! bridges the gap between how children think and learn and how they feel and behave. Dr. Wanda Draper discusses a whole-child approachto articulate the child’s development and its relationship to behavior and learning from infancy through adolescence. Based on thirty years of experience with thousands of children of all ages, and their parents and teachers, she suggests simple yet powerful ways to help children achieve success in school and life. She says, “You can’t send the head to school and leave the body at home—the whole child goes to school, the whole child lives at home, and the whole child participates in the world.”
 
Through a down-to-earth approach, Dr. Draper offers insights about how to tell the difference between natural behavior and a real problem—and what to do about it. She gives a lively explanation of how children think and act in relation to how they feel. Your Child Is Smarter Than You Think! focuses, at each stage and pathway of development, on suggestions for how to successfully:
 

• live and work with a smart child
• help without interfering
• activate the learning loop
• communicate to get results

 
“Parents and professionals are often confronted by the challenges of children because they are smarter than we think.”
-Dr. Wanda Draper
 
Wanda Draper, PhD, professor emeritus of the College of Medicine, University of Oklahoma, testifies about the relationship between childhood development and adulthood consequences as an expert witness in capital death-penalty trials. She studied at Texas Woman’s University, with additional studies at Harvard University and in Geneva, Switzerland. The author of sixteen books, she has appeared on television, including The Oprah Winfrey Show, and has been quoted in CNN News, USA Today, The New York Times,The Washington Post, Parent magazine, and Reader’s Digest.”

I promise this is a must for educators and parents.

This Blog Post will be short and to the point. I will basically give a quick summary of each resources and how it is available. The biggest share are available in a PDF on the net. I can explain the content and list the PDF name exactly. I think the names are exact but if not they are close enough for you to find them in order to obtain the resource yourself. I cannot by law copy them and give them to you. If I could I would copy them here and make them easily for you to copy The first PDF is titled “The Future of Children with Disabilities,” from http://www.futureofchildren.org. It is volume 22 Number 2 Spring 2012. It contains a number of articles within the PDF; ranging from and introduction on disabilities and the future to emerging technologies. My next pick to place in this mix is on self advocacy and determination. There is the National Gateway sight and resources; twitter handle @gatewaytosd, facbook is gatewaytosd and Utube GagewaytoSD. I can’t speak with certainty about Utube having videos on self advocacy and determination. However, I am pretty certain that Gateway has videos about this topic. The PDF title to look for on the net is 2011_issues1_selfd_selfa.pdf. It deals with advocacy and determination on many levels. The publishers are National Training Institute on Self Determination. As I stated before there are many other resources on the National Gateway and Self Determination site at http://www.ngsd.org/. Here I want to point out the great tool graphic organizers are for teaching to those that lean to the visual learning mode. They can be a great tool for many children tool. Look at these terms and places listed below or put in a search engine to reveal many free resources for graphic organizers. Many can make there own with the word processing software on their computer. The part that deals with accounting or graphic to make tables. There are those that say shapes that can be used to make your own graphic organizer to tailor your mapping of content. But see below for more; Freeology is a place where you can get free graphic organizers Rubistar or putt graphic organizers in any search engine to reveal more sources of free organizers. You may have sign up for a free newsletter but I consider that a small price to pay. It is up to you. I want to bring a term to you called Project Based Learning. See this site for a free article http://www.edutopia.org./user185983.edia/profile. Students basically are applying learning to real world applications or doing case studies. I think this is great for all students but specifically for students with disabilities. Grants from Youth Service America and Service Learning are available for teachers to apply as well as other nonprofits and areas. The next to PDF’s are a result of a ten year study by The National Autism Center’s National Standard’s Report. They deal with best practices in education in healthcare. The one on healthcare can be download by a family touched by autism I believe. The one one on education is free to teachers, educators and maybe homeschoolers. At least this is my understanding. Please read all the declarations and instructions on all the sites and follow the rules. And below are the exact PDF names of the reports: NAC EdManuel1_Finalpdf NAC NSPReport_FINPDF I know these will be of great to use to families, teachers, providers and others working with or associated with autism and special needs.

Autism- No Simple Answer Says Sandra “But here goes my try!”

http://reframingresources.com/2013/10/08/part-ii-my-review-ten-commandments-for-interacting-with-kids-on-theautism-spectrum-and-related-commandments/

THOU SHALL NOT BE SO QUICK TO SCOLD ME.

Do not tell me that “I know what I did.” I do not. Tell me what my infraction was in

simple, concise manner. I want to please you, but I have difficulties inferring

meaning within a vague statement. For instance, do not say please clean up your

bedroom.Tell me Exactly what you want, such as “Please make your bed and pick up

your toys.”

THOU SHALL NOT COMPARE ME TO OTHERS.

Please remind me and note the talents I possess. This increases my confidence

and positive self worth. Learning disabled or not, we ALL have talents to contribute

within society. I need you to help me realize what mine is. Believe in me and I will

believe in myself.

THOU SHALL NOT EXCLUDE ME FROM ACTIVITIES.

Please do not mimic me, ignore me or bully me. Please invite me to play with you. It

hurts when I am excluded. I like to run and jump in the playground, and be invited to

birthday parties too. Grownups can help me make friends by encouraging other

children to play with me. I can be a loyal friend if you get to know me.

THOU SHALL GIVE ME CHOICES

I do not like being ordered about any more than the other children. Give me choices

so I know you value my capabilities and opinions. Make them simple and concise.

Present two options or so. I get confused when too many questions or directions are

given at one time due to my processing speed. For instance, ask me if I would like

to wear my blue sweater or green one, rather than asking which sweater I would like

to wear.

THOU SHALL NOT JUDGE ME BY MY DIAGNOSIS, BUT MY CHARACTER.

I am an individual, just like other children. As my son used to say, “Mom my name

is John (name changed for anonymity) not Aspergers.” A profound statement

would say. :-0)

As a mom that really tries. My therapist says, “I way over compensate for my son!”

(I will share his name but you must see or find it in my post “My get away if” @http://ollamok.com/2013/09/15/my-get-away-if-written-7-26-13-by-ollamok-2/)

Here are my personal ties to these thoughtful Commands of Mari Nosal’s.

I am guilty of this quite a lot. But then again my son has hidden his talents quite well.

Recently I discovered I was right about his reading level or understanding being

much higher. Yet, was until recent a provider put things in to a term or used concrete

adjectives that brought clarity to me. This provider said his anxiety will make him

function at ( I know many do not like these words but they exist and carry a meaning

that is clear. To be clear I hate the words myself because I see that those on the

spectrum are treated this way when they are often smarter than a person assessing

them. I have often been treated this way. I either get real mad or think they are

ignorant and go on. That is harder to do when it deals with a passion of helping

those in society that are the most vulnerable. If not for my son, I would go crawl into

a think tank organization and forget this stuff) M. R level. Because I know my son

and this has been proven again and again, I fail on this in many ways. I struggle with

this where my husband is much better. It is frustrating for my son I know. Why?

Because I have to stop people and slow them down. However, when I do slow

people down and they get I care; they tended to come back to me and forever or a

long time. I could say much more but this is all I will except be patient with these

blessings from God. It is hard mom’s and dad’s I know. I will have to be mindful of

this till the day I die.

I do this and then I don’t. When my son says my parents didn’t are he shouldn’t do something; I do lots of reminding. I tell him I don’t care what he wants to do. I only want to make sure he has a job doing something he likes that he can make enough money at it. I tell him I could spend time doing something else besides a lot of time in him. I told him I don’t because I love him. Parents that care and take parenting serious do this. I tell him God does this for all those he loves and parents do the same. He will say he can’t are those that have special needs more or less shouldn’t have to do this. I quote and make an example of his favorite person on Earth at this moment. His Grandma Mallo! By gracious! She is 85 with one leg shorter than the other and a Club Foot. Special Needs this and that programs? Where were they then? Well for one there was the Shriner’s Hospital’s! Besides that she had to do most things on her own with the grace and help of God. She worked her whole life. She sacrificed for her four children. This shuts up a child that wants to get by using his disability as a crutch. I am the hard one in the parent chain. My husband is the softy. Being on the same page or closer might be better. I try harder and pray about this often. I am thankful to a case manager of sorts Dr. Samuel Oliphant. Before my wreck I had little time to find things like the Oklahoma Autism Network and other. That is why I want to write and inform others. We are missing a complete audience of people still going it alone.

I would say I never excluded Tanner from an activity. If anything I drug him to too

many. Accepting that he isn’t as extroverted as me; by a person I will be grateful to

forever and still seek her guidance from OKAY pointed this out to me. I do not see

this in myself; I mean being outgoing. I can see that my husband is much closer to

Tanner in the social quietness section termed introvert by this person I owe so much.

I have to do more of letting Tanner be Tanner. He doesn’t have to do everything to

be more social. I know he needs to be but he doesn’t enjoy it so stepping back a

bit might be wise.

9. I try to do this with Tanner. But, as a parent, I have to see that I expose and push

him out of the nest. Giving him choices I do. I forget sometimes that he is a teen,

seventeen. He is capable of all that I say but I keep pushing on and on treating him

as if he a child. Then again, my mother still introduces me as her baby. Therefore,

it could be the natural order of things. Should I get down on myself too much or

continue to try to do better?

I wouldn’t say I judge people by their diagnosis at all. If anything I might over

explain them by their diagnosis. Guilty of doing this with my son. My son may

have perceived this or my spouse but I have never been ashamed of my son. I

have felt blessed by him. Tried by patience with him maybe more so because of a

diagnosis but not about him. I only looked for a diagnosis as a launching pad to

look for things to help and do for him or understanding to get ideas for helping.

Perfect I am not but I try. I hope this has been helpful. I love this book because it hits at the heart of help and core of parenthood. Honesty at the core.

http://reframingresources.com/category/hhs-employee-directory-site-and-direct-emails/

• Educating/Connecting with new mothers/even grandmothers that need resources or place to turn to when facing the charge of preparing/caring for a special needs blessing child and maybe also sandwiched with the responsibility of primary care giver to a parent.

• Health Literacy %%%%%%There is plenty I can work with here.

  I will do it in the way of a newsletter and website.  I want to be a success so my date to launch is set for 1/1/2014.

Here is the web page address to the employee directory of Health and Human Services.  This includes the CDC, NIH, SAMSA, FDA, Institutes of Health and all the rest.  It took me a long time to find this.  I cannot reconstruct the path.  I am quite sure it was an accident that I stumbled across it.  

Directory of Health and Human Services 

http://directory.psc.gov/employee.htm  

         Here is a trick. When you are trying to track down an employee put only 3 or 4 letters of the first name and last name.  You may have to play around with it a little but I promise you can find the email address and more. 

Power that is brokered by the agencies through rules and regulations is staggering.  Change is never fast because of all the firewalls, roadblocks and hiding that go on.  Part of my mission is to break this process down.  Call it an informational enzymatic digestive action working on cyberspace at trans-dimensional warp speed and Scottie in heaven is working on the engines to help us in the endeavor.   So pass it on and let’s take back what so many, including my father, brothers and more have fought to preserve in the form of freedom; even those that are warped with no sense of duty, respect, courtesy or moral aptitude have a right to it.

Use it when lobbying for healthcare change.  I promise the regulations they enact under the power given to them by the government is tremendous.  You have no idea how thankful I am to my parents right now and over the last four and a half years.

This will be long but I have already looked these up.  I am not going to do anything until after the election with respect to some personal issues I want to work on due to the fact that I am lazy and don’t want to do the same thing twice.

Head of Health Human: email – Kathleen.Sebelius@hhs.gov   Sibelius, Kathleen Agency OS Organization HHS/OS/IOS Job title Secretary HHS Room 120F Duty station Washington District of Columbia – Mail stop 200 Independence Ave. SW.

Asst sec HHS Howard K. Koh, M.D., M.P.H. Phone: (202) 690-7694 email Howard.Koh@hhs.gov

E.J. Holland, Jr. Assistant Sec.for Administration (ASA) Ned.Holland@hhs.gov Agency OS Organization HHS/ASA Job title ASA Rm 309F Duty station Washington District of Columbia Mail stop 200 Independence Ave SW Phone(202) 690-7431

Surgeon General -  email  Regina.Benjamin@hhs.gov  Benjamin, Regina M. Agency OS OrganizationHHS/OS/OASH/OSG Job title Surgeon General  United States Room 701-H station Washington District of Columbia Mail 200 Independence Ave SW Ph(202)401-8073

EMAIL – Jim.Esquea@hhs.gov  Esquea, Jim Agency OS Organization HHS/OS/ASL Rm 416-G station Washington District of Columbia Mail  200 Independence Ave. SW Ph(202) 690-7627

Acting Ast Sec public affairs  email  Dori.Salcido@hhs.gov  Salcido,Dori Agency OSOrganization  HHS/OS/ASPA Job Acting Assistant Secretary Public Affairs Rm 647-D Duty Washington District Columbia Mail 200 Independence Avenue SW Phone (202 690-7850

Ass. Sec. planning &evaluation email Sherry.Glied@hhs.gov  Glied,Sherry AgencyOS Organization HHS/OS/ASPE Rm 415-F station Washington District of Columbia Mail 200 Independence Ave. SW Phone (202) 690-7858

Lurie, Nicole email – Nicole.Lurie@hhs.gov AgencyOS Organization HHS/ASPR/IO Job Ass Sec Preparedness Response Rm. 6-638G station Washington District of Columbia Mail 200 Independence Ave. S.W Phone (202) 205-2882

Kelley, Alexia AgencyOS Organization OS/CFBNP Job Director Center Faith-Based Neighborhood Partner Rm747D station Washington District Columbia Mail 200 Independence Ave. S.W. Phone (202) 205-5597 Alexia.Kelley@hhs.gov

Tobias, Constance in charge of Departmental Appeals Board (DAB) of Agency OS Organization HHS/OS/IOS/DAB Job Chair Departmental Appeals Board Rm 6001 Duty Washington District Columbia Mail 800 N Capitol St. NW Phone (202)565-0200 email Constance.Tobias@hhs.gov

HHS Employee Details Head of Intergovernmental External Affairs (IEA) ad of Dioguardi, Paul AgencyOS Organization HHS/OS/IEA Job Director IEA Room 610E Duty station Washington District Columbia Mail 200 Independence Ave. SW Phone (202)690-6060 email Paul.Dioguardi@hhs.gov

HHS Employee Details National Coordinator Health Information Technology Mostashari, Farzad AgencyOS Organization HHS/OS/ONC Rm.729HstationWashington District Columbia Mail 200 Independence Ave. SW Ph202) 401-5197 email Farzad.Mostashari@hhs.gov

Head Adm. Children & Families Title is Acting Ass Sec head  hhs is sec…so all under may be assistant secretary

Murray, Ellen  Assistant Secretary Financial Resources (ASFR) ellen.murray@hhs.gov Phone: (202) 690-6396

Chief Administrative Law Judge for the Office of Medicare Hearings & Appeals (OMHA) Griswold, Nancy J. Nancy.Griswold@hhs.gov AgencyOS Organization HHS/OS/OMHA HQ Job Chief Administrative Law Judge Rm 1800-17 Duty Arlington Virginia Mail 1700 N Moore St Suite 1000  Phone (703) 235-0711

Inspector General, Office of Inspector General (OIG) Levinson, Daniel R. AgencyOIG Organization HHS/OIG/IO Job Inspector General Phone 202-619-3148

Rodriguez, Leon AgencyOS Organization HHS/OCR Job Director Office of Civil Rights Rm 5FL- 15 Duty Washington DC Mail 200 Independence Ave SW Phone(202) 619-0403 Leon.Rodriguez@hhs.gov

William.Schultz@hhs.gov Schultz, William B AgencyOS Organization HHS/OS/OGC Job Principal Deputy General Counsel Rm 7-713F Duty Washington DC Mail 200 Independence Avenue SW Phone(202)690-7741

Daulaire, Nils AgencyOS Organization HHS/OS/OGA Job Director Office of Global Health Affairs Rm 639H Duty Washington District Columbia Mail 200 Independence Ave SW Ph(202)690-6174 Fax(202)690-7127 Nils.Daulaire@hhs.gov

Head Samhsa Pam.Hyde@SAMHSA.hhs.gov Hyde, Pam AgencySAMHSA Orz HHS/SAMHSA/IOA Job Adm Rm 8-1065 Duty Rockville Maryland Mail 1 Choke Cherry Rd Phone(240)276-2000

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

>>>>>>> >>>       I promise some more but thi is hard to top.

List of all my blogs, information about me. 

http://www.napw.com/profile/?page=edit_pressrelease   National Woman of the year press release to hit soon

http://reframingresources.blogspot.com/

http://ollamok.com/

http://kasss.org/

http://reframingresources.com/

http://ollamok.empowernetwork.com/

http://tannermana.blogspot.com/

http://sanlynnmaladc.blogspot.com/

http://ollamok.blogspot.com/

http://about.me/ollamoklcom

https://www.linkedin.com/profile/view?id=53644897&trk=nav_responsive_tab_profile

http://www.napw.com/profile/11140006/Sandra-MalloAdcock/

Horror stories,

And all the worries!

What age?

Often told to cage,

Our child

Way too too wild.

He won’t talk!

People like and can only stop; balk and gawk.

No life,

Will you ever have; but one filled with strife!

Oh! What experts don’t know,

Can and often does hurt. Blatantly blow 

Experts say, “Parents have no insight!”*

“Heck quite could be source influence in biting!”*

It is ‘bout time.

So Sublime.

Mom’s and Dad’s finally get real and;

“TELL IT ONCE AND FOR AUTISM!”

Big OPPS! Seems were not quite real.

Only a bit surreal.

Time to bid the kids a voice.

Let them have some choice.

How could we forget?

It is for these kids.

We fight so much on ism’s; The kids too need to,

‘TELL IT ONCE AND FOR AUTISM!”

**Wanda Draper Ph.D exempt from expert list along with few others but she tops the list. This is not a marketing tool but a true from the heart opinion. She is well aware how I fell about her knowledge and ability to use the parents input to help better the outcome for the children (maybe improper but I say kids).

      My disability does not impair my hearing and I am extremely bright.  

      Perhaps even brighter than you are.

1. THOU SHALL NOT IGNORE ME TALK NEGATIVELY   

    ABOUT ME, SPEAK UNNATURALLY SLOW, OR ASK 

    QUESTIONS TO OTHERS IN THE ROOM THAT    

    PERTAIN TO ME.

1. THOU SHALL BELIEVE IN ME AND HELP ME   

    BELIEVE IN MY SKILLS AND SELF WORTH.  NOTE  

    THE GOOD IN ME AND DO NOT MERELY POINT  

    OUT MY NEGATIVE BEHAVIORS.

      Believe in me and I will believe in myself.

1. THOU SHALL NOT PERCEIVE ME AS DUMB.

      I am extremely intelligent. I do not learn in the same way as you, and  

     maybe not as quickly as you expect me to.  Have patience with me. 

     Once I recall information, I never forget.

1. THOU SHALL NOT JUDGE MY BEHAVIOR

     I can get overstimulated in certain environments. I maybe hypersensitive 

     to sound and loud noises may hurt my ears.  Fluorescent lights are 

     distracting for me. Thea have a humming noise and can pulsate.  All the 

     noises in a room can blur together. Please make accommodations to         

     help me.

******All of the above come from the book(pages 12 and 13) Ten Commandments Of interacting with Kids On The Autism Spectrum And Related Commandments by Mari Nosal.

I AM SAYING GO BUY THE BOOK IF YOU NEED HELP IN THIS ARENA. THE PRICE IS EXTREMELY REASONABLE FOR GOOD ADVICE I PAID MORE FOR VERY POOR ADVICE 17 YEARS AGO THAT WAS SO FAR OFF.  I WAS TOLD TO PUT MY SON IN AN INSTITUTION. HE IS DOING GREAT NOW.

Now it is time to inventory my parental behavior after seventeen years.

Commandments

1. Of course I have yelled.  I am human.  I try not and will try even harder.   Like the Ten Commandments, it is hard for anyone to be perfect.  The point I am taking away from this is if you are doing it all the time and never make an effort there needs to be huge changes.  I try very hard and still have to watch very hard.  It is not an easy task.  I hope this book does for you what I wish I had known.  Maybe then my learned behavior wouldn’t be like kicking smoking.
2. Guilty.  Still do this some. Yet, did a lot when he was a child.  I think most parents do this out of concern and love instead of malice. Again, younger parents and teachers take the advice and wisdom.
3. I always believed in my son.  Careful though with all those extra therapies.  My son Tanner asked, “Mom how stupid do you think I am?”  He thought I pictured him as dumb and needed to fix him.  I told him that I had problems when I was younger and I didn’t get help.  I told him I was trying to give him something I didn’t get to help me with the stress and strain.  Perceptions and Deceptions a slight tongue imbalance but oh how the emotions roll off so different!.

1. See 3 tis the same to me.
2. Guilty again.  I defer a little here.  I say these kids need to be held to a same high standard.  One has to get to know these kids well while working with to figure out when they are playing you and not.  I know I have seen my son play reading on 4th grade level and finally nailed him this summer on 11th grade using a MicroSoft 2010 Grade Reading Readability Calculator.  He still tried to wiggle out but now I have him in a regular History Class.  The school provided a one on one aide without me throwing a fit.  The schools have always been great when it comes to my son.  Maybe a couple of minor things but the schools rule for me. 

OVER ALL IT IS TIME TO BUY THIS BOOK...ESPECIALLY FOR YOUNGER MOMS.  SHORT STORY TIME TOO.

My son used to scream loud and piercing in the car.  I would pull over and check on him.  One automatic act was to turn off the radio.  When he got older and put two words together he said, “Music Off!”  By Ollamok

Thank you God my son has Autism only instead of this horrible other.
I never thought in writing, I would be crying. Tears of joy my son on
the spectrum means he will see the complete stream of light ROGBIV. Please
help me write that your might will make these things come to light.

>>>>Go to this page:   http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/coping/youngpeople

The National Cancer institute will tell you all about it at another page your taxes pay for at this place.

*******Go to this page:   http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/factsheet/Sites-Types/childhood

Now wouldn’t you think they would be letting people know about this page?  I am not going to keep you guessing! If my child had cancer; I would be screaming my ears off why had they not told me about this.

??????Go to the page:  http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/factsheet/Sites-Types/childhood#q6

Now I iz gonna talz like a hic thaz a not sound’n very smartz!  Yet,  I have this information.  All from Yukon, OK.  Where it says it comes from  USA.Gov  Team all to me in an email.  Don’t fret cause I plan to keep you im-formed all this time.

Can you please pass this on for me?    I have many more to hit tonight.

In a July 24, 2013  TriCare announces it changes in autism Coverages on DIvid's by video at this web address: http://www.dvidshub.net/video/297093/tricare-changes-autism-coverage#.Ui0gD2SG1vY.

If you have Basic Coverage there is no change.

If you have Enhanced Care Health Option or Echo Program  there are no changes to your benefit.

If you are a retiree or retired family member’s survivor with autism; autism coverage is being expanded in a Pilot Program and if you want to know more about them call the TriCare Center in your region(Here in Oklahoma, I am sure Tinker or a military base would have that information for you. Yet, TriCare also has a website. Try this site; http://www.military.com/kwlp08?   ESRC=ggl_mem_ben_tricpec_exp_4.kw&np=1).

^^^^^^^ Those with autism are often considered Visual thinkers. “Thinking in Pictures,” by  Temple Grandin often comes to mind when this is said.   The NIH  funded a study in mice recently that shows the “way the brain develops a visual circuit in growth.”  This could be important to autism and the understanding of the processes that go on in this type of classing of a number of spectrum characteristics.

By, Ollamok AKA Sandra Adcock  D.Ph.  M.S.M.

>>>>Go to this page:   http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/coping/youngpeople  The National Cancer Institue will tell you all about it at another page your taxes pay for at this place.                                          *******Go to thie page:   http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/factsheet/Sites-Types/childhood

Now wouldn’t you think they would be letting peole know about this page?  I am not going to keep you guessing! If my child had cancer; I would be screaming my ears off why had they not told me about this.

??????Go to the page:  http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/factsheet/Sites-Types/childhood#q6

Now I iz gonna talz like a hic thaz a not sound’n very smartz!  Yet,  I have this information.  All from Yukon, OK.  Where it says it comes from  USA.Gov  Team all to me in an email.  Don’t fret cause I plan to keep you im-formed all this time.

Can you please pass this on for me?    I have many more to hit tonight.

In a July 24, 2013  Tricare announces it changes in autism Coverages on DIvids by video at this web address: http://www.dvidshub.net/video/297093/tricare-changes-autism-coverage#.Ui0gD2SG1vY.

If you have Basic Coverage there is no change.                                                     If you have Enhanced Care Health Option or Echo Program there are no changes to to your benefit.                                                                                       If you are a retiree or retired family member’s suvivor with autism; autism coverage is being expanded in a Pilot Program and if you want to know more about them call the Tricare Center in your region. (Here in Oklahoma,II am sure Tinker or a military base woud have that information for you. Yet, TriCare also has a website. Try this site; http://www.military.com/kwlp08?  ESRC=ggl_mem_ben_tricpec_exp_4.kw&np=1^^^^^^^ Those with autism are often consindred Visual Thnkers. “Thinking in Pictures,” by  Temple Grandin often comes to mind when this is said.   The NIH  funded a study in mice recently that shows the “way the brain develops a visual circuit in growth.”  This could be important to autism and the understanding of the processes that go on in this type of classing of a number of spectrum characterisics.

By, Ollamok AKA Sandra Adcock  D.Ph.  M.S.M.

>>>>Go to this page:   http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/coping/youngpeople

The National Cancer Institue will tell you all about it at another page your taxes pay for at this place.

*******Go to thie page:   http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/factsheet/Sites-Types/childhood

Now wouldn’t you think they would be letting peole know about this page?  I am not going to keep you guessing! If my child had cancer; I would be screaming my ears off why had they not told me about this.

??????Go to the page:  http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/factsheet/Sites-Types/childhood#q6

Now I iz gonna talz like a hic thaz a not sound’n very smartz!  Yet,  I have this information.  All from Yukon, OK.  Where it says it comes from  USA.Gov  Team all to me in an email.  Don’t fret cause I plan to keep you im-formed all this time.

Can you please pass this on for me?    I have many more to hit tonight.

In a July 24, 2013  Tricare announces it changes in autism Coverages on DIvids by video at this web address: http://www.dvidshub.net/video/297093/tricare-changes-autism-coverage#.Ui0gD2SG1vY.

1. If you have Basic Coverage there is no change.
2. If you have Enhanced Care Health Option or Echo Program

there are no changes to to your benefit.

1.         If you are a retiree or retired family member’s suvivor with autism;

autism coverage is being expanded in a Pilot Program and if you want

to know more about them call the Tricare Center in your region.

(Here in Oklahoma, I am sure Tinker or a military base would

have that information for you. Yet, TriCare also has a website. Try

this site; http://www.military.com/kwlp08?   ESRC=ggl_mem_ben_tricpec_exp_4.kw&np=1)

^^^^^^^ Those with autism are often considered Visual thinkers. “Thinking in Pictures,” by  Temple Grandin often comes to mind when this is said.   The NIH  funded a study in mice recently that shows the “way the brain develops a visual circuit in growth.”  This could be important to autism and the understanding of the processes that go on in this type of classing of a number of spectrum characteristics.

By, Ollamok AKA Sandra Adcock  D.Ph.  M.S.M.